'Spanking Your Child' About To Become A Crime By Imprisonment In Delaware

'It isn't my business' Remember the murder of Kitty Genovese?

 

Oh, it's ok if other kids get abused by their parents as long as yours don't.

If you honestly hold this view then you're no better than those bastards.

 

There are a lot of differences between spanking and beating. Intent is the first one. You spank a child to give them a tangible consequence when they can't understand the normal effects of a situation (see my previous post about running out into the street). You also do it to teach. You do it with a clear head and without any anger. The goal is not fear. The parent is consciously thinking "the child is physically at risk with this behavior. I spank so rarely that doing so this time will very clearly express the gravity of the behavior and consequences." Spanking is done with an open hand and without enough force to cause a mark on the child.

Beatings are the result of a parent unable to control their anger. They're more than one hit. They generally involve something other than just the hand. They're done to inflict pain and fear, and to physically dominate the child. The parent, consciously or subconsciously, is thinking "the child did something I don't like, so I'm going to express that with pain." Beatings leave marks.

 

If only it were so neatly delineated and compartmentalised as you suggest. You can inflict severe pain without leaving so much as a blemish on skin. If you took the trouble to explain to a child the consequences of his actions, you wouldn't need to resort to the 'tangible'. If a child doesn't understand then beating teaches nothing but that beating hurts. It's an easy cop-out for the inadequate parent; and saying it has been common practise since forever doesn't excuse it.

 

As with any contrast between two things, there are exceptions. Severe pain is a beating, marks or no.

A child under 4 can't fathom what "hit by a car and killed" means, unless they've seen it. And kids can easily get into a state of mind where no manner of "time outs" or sternly saying "no" will get them to stop what they're doing. I have no doubt that it's possible to raise some children without ever spanking them. My second kid has never needed it. My first, though, has been spanked three times because that's the only thing that would make him understand that he was putting his or his brother's life at risk. It's so easy to say "there's never an excuse for spanking" when you have a child who listens. Given the choice between an occasional spanking and a dead son, though, I'll give a spanking.

 

So basically you can't even begin to explain the double standard. People who hit their kids are jackasses. Every. Single. Parent. Any parent who hits their own dam kids should not have kids and are stoopid beyond repair.

if you can't figure out how to raise your own children without hitting them you need to give them to people who will actually love them and not pretend to love them.

 

How will nanny statists quantify "pain"?....
Will "emotional pain" soon fall under their "definitions"?
Why not?

 

That's pretty much it, isn't it?

So easy for them to kill off a baby b/f it gets here b/c the birth control pill failed, but they can't bring themselves to put a hand to an unruly toddler's butt who refuses to listen to their 'no' b/c it might make the toddler scared of them and ruin their self-esteem..... amazing.

 

Very well said. Spanking is a tool that should not be taken away from parents by the government. It has been used for centuries and produced countless good results. The dicussion needs to be about HOW to spank and not whether we should outlaw spanking entirely. For all those that think it is abusive, do you ever apply first aid to your children? Give them shots? Do you dig or squeeze their skin when they have a splinter? Do you tug a little too hard at their hair when it is in knots? Do you rip off a band-aid or leave it on until it naturally falls off? The most painful thing I remember as a child was when my mom took me to the dr to freeze off my warts. I'd take my dad's spanking over that any day.

There are times when you do need to "harm" your child for their own good. Temporarily, with minimal damage, for a better purpose in their very near future. Spanking once has proven to me to be kinder and much more effective than 10 time outs for the same offense. I spanked for definance only, not when they were tired. I did so after I had calmed and they were being tortured in their rooms waiting for me. Trust me, the 20 minute wait was more painful to them than the 3 second spanking.

However, I can appreciate that this bill is being proposed at the state level.

 

Let me guess...you're one of those parents that let their kid quit after signing them up for baseball, when you found out that coach actually makes them practice.

 

With my son, sometimes I had him sit in a corner facing the wall (a minute for each year).... he hated that.

That's a punishment parents have to be careful with. Forcing a child to sit erect facing the wall for hours can really cause them psychological damage and have heard of parents doing that. That's downrite cruelty. So for my 5 yr old son to have to sit in the corner for 5 minutes, 5 minutes for him was a long time and it worked.....

 

Jarlaxle, I know you lived thru a horrible brutal childhood and what a godawful shame that there wasn't anyone there for you to go to for help.... what you lived w/was sadistic brutality.... smacking your tot on the butt for misbehaving is not child abuse. I raised 3 kids, I did it during their toddler yrs b/c often words don't mean a thing to a child that age, but a butt smack will get their attention. What's important is not the pop on the butt, but the love, nurturing and stable homelife you give your child..... a parent(s) who's always there for their kids and the kids can talk to them about anything.....

I think the parents who do love their kids and provide well for them, but don't build good communication b/t them and kid where their kid is comfortable enuf to go straight to his/her parents at any age and tell them about inappropriate touching by a relative/friend/teacher/coach/whoever is what damages the kid and often for life - not an occasional pop on the butt for bad behavior.......

 

Excellent post........

I remember reading something some yrs ago about child disciplining - or lack of it, I should say.

This woman and her 10-12 yr old daughter went to a dinner party and the kid went into a snit fit over something. Started pouting and slid under the table where everyone was eating dinner. How did the mother handle this kid of hers who was whining under the table?

She CRAWLED under the table herself and tried to kootcy-coo her spoiled brat into getting back in her chair and eat her dinner!

And this woman was some kind of professional person...... psychologist or something like that.....

What are those idiot parents called? The New Age parent?

 

Speaking from my own experience, up to age 9 (then taken away from her and adopted) and only having a mother, I was beaten, but as bad as that was, the worst was her embarrassing me in front of friends - that had stayed w/me all my life and as a kid, I swore I'd never do that to my kids and I didn't....

If they started acting up w/friends in the house, I just took him/her into my bedroom and quietly talked to them about their unacceptable behavior.....

Being treated like that in front of others, I think causes a lot more damage to a kid than a whipping would. That's something that should NEVER be done to kids...... and you don't forget cruel, humiliating words. I always told my kids 'you can't unring a bell' once those words are spoken.

Even calling your kid 'stupid' is cruel.......

 

Really? So if your teen or younger enjoyed torturing defenseless animals, you wouldn't think that was any reason for concern? It's just your kid experimenting w/something different? I hope not b/c that's a definite sign of a psychopath....

And NO, not ALL teens display these sadistic behaviors......

 

Yea , what right does the government have protecting children from physical harm.

Sacasm.

 

Thats exactly where your problem is. You want to put kids on an equal footing with adults, but they arent.
Life isnt like that, God created a system of heirarchy, its in every aspect of life. But like all things good, and Godly, the lefties want to destroy it, create a society of equal bonbonbrain people whom they can control perched up high on their elitist perch.

Its one of the basic problems with schools too, teachers trying to be too much like a kid, it doesnt work.

People yearn to have a leader who will guide them, someone they can look up to and trust them to safely guide them.
ALl parents are in a postition of teaching and leading kids, making them equal in respect to each other doesnt work.
The relationship between kids and parents is not one of equality, thats why they call them KIDS and PARENTS, kids, rightly so, are not expected to behave like adults, and visa versa.
Parents have respect for their kids from the get go, but kids have to learn to have respect to and from their parents.
When one assumes, wrongly so, thats kids are born with respect for the adults, then they never try to teach it to them, I mean, why try to teach something to a person who already has it?
Hence, kids arent learing to respect adults and hence the chaos we have with kids these days.

 

All you did is emphasize what everyone here already agrees on, the question is the tactics to teach them, thats the debate, can I do it the way I choose, or do others have the right to impose their ideals and values on me.

 

I believe you have no clue what respect is all about.

 

The article is just a bunch of opinions. By definition, those people are not at home on a day in and day out basis, cuz they are busy keeping their heads in books and coming up with theories on how to raise kids. Hell, at least half of them dont even have kids, the rest are not stay at home parents, so esactly WHAT EXPERIENCE do they have.?

Our societies choice to turn to "experts" on everything these days, is ill chosen. I know experts are wrong a lot of the time, lots.

My grandmother is more of an expert than some woman who has a PHD in psychiatry. All PHD means to the kids is Please come HOME Daddy. Youre never here taking care of us cuz you are too budy telling others how to raise their kids.

 

so now you are equating spanking with murder?
I guarantee you that parent or adult didnt spank, or even know how to spank a kid properly

 

Yes I did explain it, it isnt a double standard.
Spanking an adult usually, almost always, is not effective.
Fining is, fining a kid isnt effective, spanking is.

You dont seem to understand that what works on one person wont work on others.

 

Im wondering what these pro govt people are gonna do if some parents wont listen to them and refuse to stop spanking their kids? Take them away? I wont let you, if you try, I will punch you, then to take them, you will have to knock me out,,,,,hmmmm, but isnt that doling out the exact same punishment they are against?

I mean, when we refuse to comply, you are going to just use words with us right? If you have to resort to violence, then that just shows you dont love us, and dont know how to deal with us, and you should give us to another authority to handle us.

 

I dont respect "progressive parenting"

 

Corporate punishment works as a system---not out of anger or frustration. Having raised three children---the youngest who was the hardest to control at 15 months to 3 years---is the one who needed corporate punishment to get put on the right path--a swat on the butt and a couple of times---a true spanking. Now---at 11---he is hugely respectful, has excellent attention span, is the most disaplined and thinks of others beyond him self. I think if I had forgone the swats and spankings---or had let him win his little and big testing battles---he'd be much different.