Does anyone exist who is not damaged....?

Two kinds of people; those who are damaged and those who damage. I don't like being either, but I guess I'm a little of both.

 

I don't know about 'damaged' but I can tell you there is no one without a 'baggage'. If that fits your description of 'damaged', then you have an answer. These things are relative. There are women who would turn down an offer to be paid to marry you, while there are some who think you are the best thing to have happened since sliced bread. All in the eyes of the beholder...

 

That's very true. I had a very hard time growing up w/the 2 mothers I had - taken away from my real mother when I was 9 and adopted when I was 10 and both should never have been mothers. After my wonderful adoptive dad died when I was 14, the abuse got worse, mostly verbal abuse - ugly, mean, cutting words I'll never forget. As I got older, I took those memories of both and told myself 'those 2 so-called mothers of mine taught me a very valuable lesson about life, one I could never learn in books and that is what never, ever do to my children' and believe I didn't......

Kids need to feel everyday that they are loved, cherished and respected. the one thing I taught them was 'you can't unring a bell'. No matter how angry you may get at someone, be careful w/the words you say b/c those ugly, cruel words will always be in their mind, no matter how sorry you are later that you said it......

A person can take a negative experience and turn it into something positive to help you be a better person and parent.......

 

Well, you're honest about it..... work at not doing any damage. It can be done, if that's what you want.......

 

It's a dog eat dog world out there. Damage unto others before they damage unto you.

 

Not to be insulting or anything but she's lying. A woman rejects you because she doesn't, or no longer, likes you, she's not doing it because she "doesn't want to hurt you". She doesn't give a flying fandango about you at this point and is just trying to keep you from making a fuss or some other unpleasantness.

Women have no feeling for you if they no longer love you (just as men have no feeling for them in the same circumstance) At this point, you're actually less to her than the millions of strangers in the world she has never met.

The Beatles made a song about this. "For No One." It's a hard truth but one better realized than not.

 

There is about 76% of me who does believe it is a lie. Smells like bull(*)(*)(*)(*), so probably is.

 

You don't point the guns at them. If you're doing that, then yes, I could see why they wouldn't want to be around that.

 

Everybody has "issues", that's life. The trick is to find someone who's "issues" you can live with. I've been married twice, and divorced twice. I'm now with the Lady that the Fates meant me to be with. We both have "issues", but we understand that and support each other in dealing with them.

 

There is a lot of BS about women liking men who scare them a little, who seem "outlaws" etc. Don't believe it, girls are pumped full of cautionary tales about men who got gfs into trouble by their mothers, other girls and the media from the time they're very small, the worst thing you can do is frighten a woman. Additionally, gun worship pegs you as a conservative, and not the nice kind who makes lots of money and spends it on them, but the poor kind who beats women and shoots them in a drunken rage when they try to leave. You aren't, but it makes no difference as the media has sold this picture very well.

 

You would risk damaging/hurting someone you really don't know who could possibly be a good friend to you?

Yes, it's a dog eat dog world, but why would you want to be a part of that?

 

Maybe after they get to know you and your issues they decide that they're not interested.

 

"Damaged", "baggage" ... it's the same thing.......

 

Yup! You met your soul mate. Good for the 2 of you.........

 

Fortunately, attraction is not a choice. It's an emotional process, not a logical one. So none of that really matters when you're talking to her. If you have the right vibe, she'll feel attracted to you anyway.

Hell, even Hitler had a girlfriend. What does that say about the illogical nature of attraction?

 

That's true. It's called 'chemistry' b/t 2 people..... when I was a 16 yr old junior in HS, a senior dude and I saw each other and that was it. Strange how that physical attraction/chemistry thingy works b/t 2 people who don't even know each other and you don't question it. It's like it was meant to be....... and he and I were meant to be together during that time. Compatibility all the way....... we never had a fight.

Hitler probably told Eva she was going to be his woman and she had no choice..... or suffer.

 

Actually, Hitler had two, and the first, Geli Raubal, was pretty illustrative of the cautionary tales most girls are told.

Women are far more cold-blooded than men toward relationships. In the days before birth control, which is the vast majority of human history, they had to be. The habits of several million years are hard to break

 

Women don't have resolved issues because they want closure. Men have no
idea what closure is, ergo, women will always have unresolved issues.

I learned this in the 2nd grade. It took me over 50 years to accept it as fact.

I was a slow learner. This isn't a joke. It's real.

 

one of my favorite quotes and so true

"We learn by doing, by taking risks, by failing, and, only then, by succeeding. We grow from our mistakes and from our failures.
If we cannot see that failure is the essential other half of success, then we try to avoid the failure and, in so doing,
we avoid success." ~ '2150 AD' by Thea Alexander

 

She still has stuff over at my apartment and will "pick it up later". lol

Ran into her on Friday, say my greeting, she looks at me like she doesn't know me, then comes over asking if I have jumper cables. Wtf. lol

 

Issues attract issues. gawd knows I attracted my share as a substance abuser within a circle of substance abusers.

Introspection.

 

I didn't say I WANTED to be a part of that but it's inherent in the human system. Everybody wants advantages that can't be obtained without disadvantaging everybody else, at least on a macro basis. On a more micro basis, you might actually see the results of damaging an individual and would be less inclined to do it.

 

It's probably you.
Here's the brutal truth, stop reading this post if the truth hurts:
If you were a better dating prospect, and were a fine specimen of masculinity, you would probably have more options and could get a girl who was not "damaged goods".

 

Probably a good possibility, along with a small pool of choices.

 

I must admit I had thought much the same. Everyone has issues, but "I am so sorry ... you're a great guy but ... I am not breaking up with you becausebof anything you have done, its just that, well .... you know how I told you about ... well it just makes it so hard to be close ... I need some time alone.... you are a great guy but ...

translation ... I have realised you are not my type. Sorry about that ... I just don't want you in my life anymore.

solution for you. look at yourself. What is the pattern here? What do the women you are attracted to have in common? Was there anything that might have triggered a change of mind? If so, don't necessarily worry about it too much. She may not have been your type to begin with.

solution for her ... so what is Her pattern? Why does it always take 9 and a half weeks, 6 months, 18 months or however to ALWAYS fall out of love with a guy? Was what attracted you in the first place the thing that turned you off in the end, was it getting to know the real him, did you jump in too soon?

its hard stuff. In the old days we used to take more time to get to know people before we jumped in ... but it still didn't really work.

relationships can be hard work, and maybe thats the problem. If you believe in fairy tales you will never be satisfied.