Suicide attempts on the part of a family member?

Well it is obvious he cares for her and even accepts her failures. You should have that talk with him and discuss a trigger you both agree on for getting help and hold him to it but you might have to be the strong one.

 

Simply put...if you love your Mother, grow up and deal with the BS like everyone else does.

Otherwise....accept the likelyhood of enormous guilt in the future, and go ahead and say goodbye before it's too late.

 

And If someone has cancer I guess you're one of those who says they should just pray, right?

Depression is a life-threatening disease and it requires professional help and a supportive family. People with depression have difficulties with how their brain functions and those difficulties are usually beyond the abilities of most lay people to understand, no matter how well-intentioned they are. If you have heart problems do you go to a loving Aunt or a Cardiologist?

Oh, and people from well-structured, loving and non-problematic families commit suicide about the same as others. Read about Mariette Hartley's father. Suicide is irrational, not amenable to understanding and you shouldn't try.

 

Wolverine.....pm coming.

 

So many people struggling to pay their bills and have a roof over their head.
And we wonder why people are committing suicide in droves.

 

If your mom takes prescription meds try to find out what she is taking. I had a loved one act the same way and found out she had stopped taking her SRI med. (Serotinin Re-uptake Inhibitor) She didn't wean off properly.

 

Do what you think is best. And try not to beat yourself up about it.

 

I am putting this info here as it is intended to be generally useful, so it will not always be applicable to your Mom's situation.

Sometimes there are local hotlines available that a person can call if they are feeling suicidal at a particular moment in time.

A good one is CONTACT, which trains its volunteers in "active listening", which is a specific type of listening that counselors also use.

Active listening is a gift which focuses on helping the other person to clarify what they are thinking by feeding back to them what the listener believes the speaker is saying. It gives the speaker many opportunities to correct the listener's responses, thereby in that way making their own thinking clearer to themselves. We are social beings, and seem to need this process to do our best thinking, but many listeners lack the active listening skill and so cannot do this for their significant others. If you Google it in quotes you should be able to get more specific info regarding the method, which is at first very difficult for many of those not used to it. For example, asking questions in the usual way is avoided.

Neither of my parents could do it. I learned it first through a Parent Effectiveness Training course (PET), which also teaches effective confrontation skills (ie nonblaming) and a couple of other core skills. PET is the least expensive way to get trained in these skills; corporations send their managerial staff to similar trainings with different names and sometimes pay thousands for the same thing. Or you could become a CONTACT volunteer and they will train you for a nominal fee, but then you will owe them some phone time. It's a nice way to meet other people, though.

MHMR (for emotional problems) and D&A (for drug and alcohol issues) can sometimes be of assistance in finding local practitioners that are cost effective as far as insurance and assistance from their agencies are concerned. Usually a "liability assessment" to determine financial eligibility is needed to get much tangible help out of them other than referrals, although they might be able to steer your family to inexpensive therapy groups or trainings that might be available in your area.

If there is an underlying biological disorder causing emotional problems, such as bipolar (moodswing) disorder or schizophrenia, an assessment with a psychiatrist (they are medical doctors) will be needed to obtain a prescription for any needed medicine. Some family doctors might be willing to continue renewing a prescription medication begun by a psychiatrist, but it can take a significant time even for an experienced psychiatrist to find the right meds for a client and then get the dosages right, because we are all biologically different.

There are older meds which are less expensive as now generic which can be fairly cost effective. Where cost is an issue this point has to be made clearly to the treating physician/s so they won't prescribe something more exotic and expensive. For example, lithium is still life saving in some instances of depression caused by bipolar disorder, as it helps to prevent suicide.

Bipolar is a special medication challenge because of the swing between depression and elation, which requires skillful tracking and timing, in order to get the meds right. It takes persistence and cooperation with a treating psychiatrist to determine what is needed, and a cooperative support system or family that can provide feedback if a person is going off the rails again, as they absolutely cannot tell, even if they are themselves professionals. People with bipolar often enjoy the "manic" phase because it makes them feel invincible, but when they come down from it they find they have overspent, etc etc and their life is a mess from impulsive decisions.

Psychiatrists charge a lot as they are also MDs and pretty much at the top of the counseling food chain. It is best for straight counseling to get to one that can work well with the psychiatrist or other involved treatment providers, and that has had good success with people with similar issues. Again group therapy tends to be a lot more cost effective and often more effective as well, and this can also include such things as AA if applicable, or group therapy around abuse issues. Sometimes the private Catholic Charities agency offers family therapy.

If there are still children under the age of 18 in the home the local Children and Youth agency can sometimes be of help with referrals and maybe even provide publicly funded voluntary services.

Suicide can sometimes be a passive aggressive behavior, so that can be a challenge as well. You can Google "passive aggressive" to see if that fits and maybe find the healthiest and safest ways to deal with it then.

If any of the above seems applicable in your situation you can ask me to elaborate on here or PM me. Good luck with this.

 

Your mom sounds bi-polar and you and your dad are co-dependent with whatever it is going on in her life be it that or something else. I'd try to get her into some sort of treatment.

 

If your mother truly intended to kill herself, she would, man. When we see suicide attempts that fail, they tend to be a cry for attention or simply a way to "release and let go." This isn't to say that there isn't a problem, because clearly there is. The course of action to take, if you can*, is to have patience with your mother. Imagine how she feels? She's clearly not feeling 'normal', there's am imbalance of chemicals in her brain causing her to say and do the things that she is doing. Medication can help with that but therapy is every bit as important. Obviously, going the least intrusive way is the preferred method -- meaning, do not have her involuntarily committed. Find a local psychologist or community health facility. Some people recommend going through the primary care doctor first, but I say do so with the realization that he/she will most likely recommend your mother being immediately committed for psychological evaluation. They have to, given that your parents are truthful with him/her and mention the suicide attempts and other abnormal psychological behavior. I'm hesitant of people being committed because of all the things that now become associated with the person and you can kiss legal firearm ownership goodbye. "Are there guns in the house?" is a typical question that will be asked. If your parents do indeed own firearms, unless they don't mind selling them or turning them over to the police, the firearms should be stored somewhere else. That's not just to protect them from confiscation, but to protect your mother just in case she decides to actually go through with it.

* = If you cannot, stay away from her. Your inability to control your emotions will not help your mother who has no control over her's either. Don't make the situation worse than it already is. I don't know how old you are, but if you want to see this situation resolved in a respectable manner, well, develop wisdom beyond your current level ricky tick, man.