For the most part, the LBGTQ community and allies mostly laughed about the 'gay agenda' because the way the term was used by the straight community, and specifically by the conservative Christian community was pretty silly. Trying to have a serious conversation with the folks that were inclined to use the term, was a waste of time. We learned more about their agenda than we could teach them about our own. I tried to tell them what was really on the gay agenda as I saw and interpreted the plan. It was mostly a political agenda in its most narrow sense. It was about gay rights, old school stuff like rights not to be targeted by cops, and laws and politicians. It was about seeing ourselves and lives accurately reflected in media, being represented in all fields of endeavor and professions. We wanted to be and see doctors, lawyers, teachers, actors, singers, and politicans regardless of orientation. It was about being left alone to be gay, open and free without losing jobs, housing, services and or benefits because we were gay open and free. Eventually we began to aspire to legal protection in our unions, first civil unions then in marriage. We sought about tolerance from acquaintances, employers and authority figures in our lives, and acceptance from loved ones and friends. What about kids? We had an agenda there too. We wanted access to our children. No discrimination in family court and the same right to adopt as anyone else. We wanted to kids to learn that being gay was not a terrible dreadful thing, that gay people were going to pop up in their lives as uncles, friends, teachers, maybe their own children and whereever they popped up, they were to be treated with dignity and decency, not as sick deviants or pedophiles. Frankly, for the most part, we have achieved most of this over the last 40 years. Its been a stunning social and legal transformation. There just isn't all that much to do on that agenda and I haven't many complaints except that our gay agenda was way too narrow and too focused on how we were treated by others, rather than how we treated others. I generalize but what was not on high on the agenda was in the 70's 80's and 90's... 1. Sexism . We did not spend time talking about how gay men, were treating gay women and their struggle for equality - in our movement! 2. Racism. It was just not talked about either. LBGTQ people of color could not get the rest of us to take their issues seriously because we were too 'liberal' too 'progressive' to need any of those talks. 3. Agism. The way we talked about 'old queers and queens' embarrasses the hell out of me now. They stopped being mentors, protectors and teachers once we needed fewer, and turned into caracatures we wanted nothing to do with. 4. The external and internalized body shaming. Study after study shows eating disorders are far more common among gay men that straight men, and yet we still aren't doing much to stop the drive for a perfect body to attract a man, and the myriad of ways we tell each other that we are failing.
I was afraid of the word limit on my post. So I left off a couple 5. Lawerence V Texas was decided in 2003 and our rights to have consensual sex without stormtroopers arresting and prosecuting us are long over. Its time to focus on our brethren in Africa, Asia, Middle East, etc who just want to live and stay the hell out of jail. Gays in New York, Los Angeles, Boston and San Francisco did not stop at their metropolitan borders once their ordinances were passed, and we must ensure the safety and equality of the LBGTQ community worldwide. 6. How we treat our trans allies, now that they are the main targets of hate, bigotry and efforts to scapegoat is what will define our character for decades. They stood by our side even before Stonewall inn, and they have never backed down when we needed their numbers. When there weren't enough gay men to care for the sick and dying during the height of the AIDS epidemic many of those bed pans, many of those emesis basins were being carried by people we might now identify as trans, or as having gender dysphoria symptoms as well as Lesbians and straights. There is no ****ing way we are are dropping any 'T's off now!. Its not the first time in our mutual history, that some of us decided the alliance was not bringing equal benefits to the rest of us. We do not ditch our bestfriends, to keep our seat at the 'popular kids table' at lunch. Its LBGTQ or I want no part of it! Otherwise its Divide & Conquer by the conservative right. Lets get to work on this gay agenda!
I shortened your post just to focus on this one particular aspect that grabbed my attention, and am not brushing aside your other points, but this part really is a dynamic in the trans issue where I struggle with and perhaps I could benefit from something you could add. BDD is such a twisty thing, I have concerns about allowing trans people into locker rooms and bathrooms of their identified gender particularly in public schools because so many kids have some degree of BDD for a myriad of reasons. It seems like the presence of someone they identify as being of the opposite gender in those intimate space for lack of a better phrase, do you see us as risking harming others' already vulnerable psyches doing this? I mean personally as an adult I really don't care much anymore who was in the stall beside me, but just accidentally walking into a women's bathroom or having a female walking into the boys bathroom when I was school age was kind of a thing all on its own. When I was in 8th grade a lot of guys refused to even dress out because we had a female gym teacher and they were afraid of her walking in on us. It was a bit paranoid I think since she never did it, but to them it felt like something real. I mean how do we draw a line or balance those very real competing interests particularly when there are so many radicals on both ends of the spectrum defining the issues and drawing the battle lines at all or none?
I don’t disagree with you, but your take on the progress over the decades is interesting. I am a millennial and I haven’t seen a lot of that stuff, but I am aware that it was, especially black trans women, who led the stonewall riots. Having seen what I have so far, I think the argument that, “I can’t bake a cake for you because you’re getting married and your gay,” is an incredibly ridiculous hill to fight on. I seriously don’t think that people are going to defend this long into the future. It’s just petty. Why can’t you make a damn cake for somebody getting married?
Whatever gay people do in private is their own business. I just wish I could go through a day where they don't try to get me to support them or pay them tribute of some kind. Enough already!
Where I live a lot of places are designing gender neutral bathrooms. That may be the design of the future, or maybe not. Just because somebody transitions into the gender it doesn’t mean that they’re going to have like bad etiquette in these situations. Most of them probably don’t want people to know they were born as the opposite gender. It’s some thing they’re probably wanting to hide. If anybody’s in a bathroom or locker room acting like a pervert, there are laws against that. I’m not under the impression that this can cause a threatening situation. I also think for the safety of trans people, somebody who looks like a woman should not be in a men’s room. States like Florida are passing laws requiring you to use the facilities of the gender were born as. That means trans men are going to be in women’s bathrooms. Is it a good idea to have any man at all in the women’s bathroom? This is what a trans man looks like. I personally don’t think that states like Florida should normalize women getting used to people who look like men being in our facilities.
Thing is I am not sure that is where we are or are going. There was a court case in Virginia and maybe some in other places where gender-neutral wasn't deemed a legally acceptable solution and the school system was ordered to allow the child to use the bathroom they wanted. It seems to be a "separate but unequal" solution in the radical eyes and they are the ones funding and prosecuting these legal challenges for the most part. Anyway, I was surprised at how many conservative Christians I know who pretty readily accepted gays and lesbians when the marriage ruling came down, but this trans issue is just so complicated I am not sure there can be a resolution. Maybe that is why both sides are going so hard about it. I am trying to find my firm footing on the issue and I really struggle with it when it comes to the underage stuff--be it bathrooms or procedures.
BBD is an obsessive compulsive disorder and it does not matter what the gender of audience is. In other words, the sufferer of this disorder are worried about ANYONE seeing their torso, or their legs or whatever. They aren't going near locker rooms or restrooms without a built in privacy area that they can use. Those folks who are extra shy or sensitive to these sorts of issues just do what my kid did. He went into a stall where nobody, regardless of gender or age could see him. My solution to this problem is to recognise that we as a culture are more sensitive to SAME gender people seeing us that we were twenty or thirty years ago so we should assume more people wants a private area to change in than do not anymore, and renovate the preexisting locker rooms/ restrooms according and put those visual barriers in place at the urinals. We aren't doing it because somebody who is trans, might enter. We are doing it because people have cell phones and you never know who might be a weirdo and take a photo. Just build these places for privacy period. It should have been done decades ago.
I have no idea what you’re talking about, when gender neutral bathrooms were deemed unacceptable in schools. I Googled that and couldn’t find anything. when the gay marriage ruling came down, I don’t think most Christians accepted it.. that’s when all this religious rights started. I shouldn’t have to accommodate gay people. I shouldn’t have to bake a cake for a gay wedding. I don’t have to normalize the sin of homosexuality. I mean, depending on the Catholic priest, they’re even willing to deny communion to left-wing political leaders, because of their abortion believes. There’s a lot of articles detailing how they won’t give communion or last rights or baptize LBGT. I think Christians have been pretty vocal on the fact that they think homosexuals and trans are sinful people. Some churches accept them the way they are, but the mass majority of churches would not accept a gay married couple being a member of the church or a trans person. I live in a red state though, maybe it’s different somewhere else.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/tra...attle-supreme-court-rejects/story?id=78534829 ""Being forced to use the nurse’s room, a private bathroom, and the girl’s room was humiliating for me, and having to go to out-of-the-way bathrooms severely interfered with my education. Trans youth deserve to use the bathroom in peace without being humiliated and stigmatized by their own school boards and elected officials.”
The article describes a situation differently than what I thought you were saying. I thought you were saying a court ruled that gender neutral bathrooms were ruled unacceptable. This doesn’t seem to be about gender neutral bathrooms. They weren’t trying to get all the kids to use gender neutral bathrooms. They were trying to get this one trans kid to use her own facilities. I can understand a trans person’s concerns because they are not doing what everybody else is doing. They are expected to do something that makes them stand out. If the bathrooms were all gender neutral, they would be doing what all the other kids are doing.
'Separate but (Un)equal' rings a bell here, with a marginalized minority being literally and geographically isolated.
They are would be treating one child drastically different by having him use his own bathroom m, and I can understand why that’s not acceptable to the kid or to the court. If the school was providing general neutral bathrooms for everybody, then I don’t think there would be a problem, because nobody would be getting singled out for different treatment.
This is tricky because if your kid is being harassed in the other restrooms, you just want him/her to have a safe nonthreatening place. 'Separate but equal' can be very appealing if the other options on the table are unsafe and unequal. We can worry about the horrible message this sends after my kid graduates. I get it the appeal but I think its a bad idea anyway
NO !!!! If you don't stand up and loudly cheer for them then this means that you are some sort of "homophobic bigot". I have always felt the same way as you feel. So you're gay ? Big deal.... I could care less. Go on with your bad self ! I don't go around shoving my heterosexuality in people's faces and demanding that they should cheer for me. Be as gay as you want, but just don't expect me to care or give you special treatment.
I think the reason this person brought the case to the court was because they didn’t like the solution, and they had the right to argue their case in court. Not everybody is the same. Another person might find this to be a reasonable solution, but it just might depend on where they are in their transition and how they feel about themselves. I don’t know. Generally, it’s not a bad thing to work on the best solution by understanding other point of views, and respecting other peoples comfort level. In some of these situations involving high school students, it’s the parents and teachers getting really fired up about the stuff. I think it’s personally reasonable to encourage the students to make their own decisions and decide what they feel comfortable with..
Pride month pride parades.... All these public corporations thinking they have to cheer it on. Vastly overrepresented in TV programming. Sporting events promoting it. Why should people have to be subjected to that to go watch a baseball game? Is it okay if people just don't give a damn?
There's a lot of things I just don't give a damn about, that by these standards I should regard as 'shoving it in my face' but I don't define that way because I can just turn away, change the channel or wait it out for a couple of minutes. By your standard, I should be royally pissed by Straight America, by theism, and by the American flag. But because I just don't care, this stuff never bothers me. I feel no animus toward theism, the American Flag and heterosexuality and I am not bothered by their promotion.
I don’t really see why that should offend you. I think if you see gay people, you know being “out” and gay, and that makes you uncomfortable, then you’re not actually comfortable with homosexuality. Sounds like you would prefer to pretend they weren’t homosexual and that’s easier to do when it’s not “in your face.” I don’t know if you know anybody who’s gay or have a relationship with somebody who’s gay, but if you did, I think that would be really problematic if you’re always trying to ignore a very significant thing about them.
You've totally misunderstood @FatBack point. Paying for the privilege of watching a sporting (and/or musical) event means that you only expect to be exposed to traditional activities associated with such events. I detest musical artists using their platforms to deliver a political message. I don't find politics, itself, offensive. The same can apply to social messaging. There's a time and place for things.
What is shocking to me is that music seems to so thoroughly avoid the major topics that we face today. It's like we're forcing music to be irrelevant. How the HELL can music ignore what we face today and still be legitimate?
