What is Your Idea of "Being a Man"?

Not even. No family or children makes someone a woman? That doesn't even make sense.

 

We might be. But until the population starts a downtrend, we won't know that.
Technology changes current tends

 

My choice was made long ago anyway. Too late now!

And for the last ten years I have lived a life most men can only dream about.

 

Don't ask me.

 

I assume most men dream about a family.
Especially a son to pass Gene's along.

 

We have other dreams.

 

You made your choice.
Which has almost ZERO to do with planet population.

 

Everyone does.

 

It was my biggest concern. The problems with my ex weren't recognized until years later.

I was a loyal husband for 25 years. And I: NEVER cheated. So don't go getting a tude.

I have worked to help save the planet for most of my life - going back to about age 10. It was the driving force for almost every major decision I made in life.

 

I: have always believed that we each need to make the health of the planet our personal problem and responsibility. We all need to be a part of the solution. The future of humanity depends on it.

 

I was taught from a young age.

If you borrow something. Bring it back in better shape than when you borrowed it

We are all just borrowing Earth.

 

What's funny about it?

That's a B.S. response, IMO.
Let me ask you some things: where do you live?
Do you not follow any of the conventions, of that culture, in which you live?

What do you eat? Is it primarily foods traditional to your country? Have you tried EVERY other cuisine, to know that this is your favorite one-- or have you decided to limit your dietary choices?

All humans get our sense of self-- and this is not my theory, but an accepted psychological concept-- from OTHER HUMANS, in the way they react to us. Are you trying to put up the front, that the thought of how others might react to you, NEVER enters into your mind, in any situation?

Have you ever been on a job interview? Did you not pay any attention to your attire, your grooming, your manners, or behavior?

 

Yes, and ideally, there should be no more need for violence, in our world, right (except as sporting entertainment, of course). Therefore, no need for any countries. Nor for any religious wars, or animosities. And no more need for anyone to hoard wealth, as we could have enough for all.

Hey, I'm a bigger John Lennon fan than most, but you are really avoiding the truth of the question, that societal constructs, still DO figure prominently in peoples' expectations & reactions. Just because one doesn't endorse them, does not mean they don't exist. And even if these could be removed, do you really believe that there is no instinctual basis, whatsoever, behind male & female behavior?

If I can be honest, I find that answer a bit of a cop out.

Yes, I know what you mean. It would help to focus my answer, if you gave me a sense of what it is, about this question, that you find most intriguing. For that matter, to this point in your thread, we haven't seen YOUR answer, yet. So that's even more of of a cop out.

You're copping out, Pants is copping out, WhoDat Phan is copping out-- this whole court, is copping out!
(That was my Pacino).

Shall I offer a possible suggestion? Would qualities in a man that makes another man envious, being indicative of its being "manly" behavior, at least for any man who wants to be thought of, as such? Because then, smoothness with women has got to be at, or near, the top of the pile. Not that I think that is the most important quality of being a man; but it does inspire other mens' envy.

Do you see what I mean, about your question being a bit overly- wide open? I suppose I could just go off on my own, like I did in your other thread, about "positive discrimination;" but I like to be part of the same conversation as the rest of the group, at least now and then.


Being cool- headed, under pressure, is a manly trait.

Being logical is certainly considered a sign of male intellect, though I would add the ability to blend that, with creativity.

Self-sufficiency, in the outdoors, is a manly quality, which I think most can appreciate, even if they don't spend much time outside, themselves.

Clearly, bravery is a sign of "manliness."

How's that, for a start?

 

I haven't commented because I was interested in what men thought masculinity is and is it the same as women think.
I posted this soon after I had watched The Power of the Dog ...twice...which is about toxic masculinity and I believe based on fact. It is located in the US west in the 1920's when masculinity was seen as being impervious and dominant, rejecting and ridiculing any "feminine" traits that spoke of softness or empathy.
So I wondered what men today think is masculinity, 100 years later.
No cop out...just curious.
I don't have a right/wrong scale of merit here. Just interested to see it from the male side.

 

dependable, trustworthy, faithful

what do you think a real man is?

 

Dunno. I haven't met one yet!

 

Great examples of masculinity (in historical order):
Lao Tzu
Buddha
Jesus

 

Well things may have changed a little bit but, as I'd said, I think a good part of this is instinctual, so it will not have been unrecognizably altered. For example, being good with one's hands, able to fix mechanical things, able to build things, I think will always carry the musk of manliness about them. I'm not incompetent, in that area, but nor am I especially skilled. I actually hate working on cars, being as I don't have an extensive tool set, and I always seem to run into stuff that is just more of a hassle than I want to bother with. I just don't have a lot of interest in, or get much satisfaction from it. I prefer to be tinkering at my piano. Even that, I wish I had more expertise, in repairing hammer mechanisms, & so forth.

The one biggest difference I think you are most likely to see today, as compared to yesteryear, is that men today are not expected to be quite as stoic, and as emotionally unavailable, particularly with their families, as in the past. That said, there have always been some men, including manly ones, who were very effusive with their kids. I guess this is part of manliness, that even if you're not doing something traditionally thought of as macho or tough, you still exude manliness, in doing it.

And yet, there will always be some mystique, among a broad swathe of women-- despite wanting to settle down with a different kind of man-- about that independent, "stranger," the one seemingly without needs, the untamable, James Bond type. And as men, ourselves, even if we would much prefer an emotionally intimate, long-term bond, that instinct will always act up around this lady's man-- as irresponsible, profligate, or as much of a dishonorable cad, as we may also think of him-- in an appreciation that he is demonstrating proficiency in one of the most fundamental skills, of nearly all male animals: the ability to find females, with whom to mate. It matters not, that procreation, is no longer the intended result.

If I can get into trouble, by extending your thread, just a touch: this is the difference, which some women who are very sexually active, and proud of it, don't seem to understand, when they ask, "how come when a man beds a lot of women...but when a woman beds a lot of men...?" Because, Rhianna, if one is a woman, & not especially picky, it is not a real show of "skill," to find men who are willing to screw you. For a man, it is much more of a challenge.

Again, the man is displaying prowess in the evolutionary skill of spreading his seed. Women, however, cannot have endless babies, so nature has required a different strategy, for them to succeed in what life has deemed anything's top priority: to perpetuate their genes, into the future. For women, they must concentrate more on quality, rather than quantity. Therefore, being very choosey, is a manifestation of the ideal of femininity. In other words, as "unfair," as it may seem, nature itself has set the rules, and they dictate that a woman who sleeps around a lot-- as admirable a thing as it is, being a "free spirit"-- is demonstrating the flaws in her femininity. I know that Women's Libbers won't like it. But again, I don't think this is a judgement of culture, or personal philosophy, or taste, but only of intrinsic instinct.

 

Fertility rates are already falling in almost every part of the world. The challenge of the future will be a falling global population.

 

The foremost challenge is reforming the psychological state of our species.

 

I can see how you would think of my response as a 'cop out' - but that's because when I read the question, I had 'man up' and 'be a man' coming to mind. I saw it as asking for 'stereotypes'. Of course I see differences between men and women. But I also see a lot of cross over between them when it comes to the stereotypical descriptors. Women can be cool-headed under pressure, they can be logical and self sufficient outdoors and they can be brave. And I hate that a man who doesn't display those characteristics are minimized or maligned by some because they're not 'manly'. They are still men but they don't qualify as 'manly' by some.

 

Wearing pants and peeing standing up; did I win anything???

 

Not much more to be said!

 

My opinion is a man
-should always open a door for a woman
-stand up for the little guy who is getting picked on, take care of the underdog.
-shouldn’t be scared to buy his wife or girlfriend some tampons
-stop to help anyone hurt in the streets and doesn’t just watch with a camera in hand while someone is being hurt in the street
-goes out of his way to make a kid feel welcome around him
-never make a woman cry


All that good stuff I suppose. If you don’t think a man should do these things I would say you are a bad part of society

 

Depends on how drunk you are if that’s a good idea lol