Can sexuality change over time?

Recently, I had this argument with a dude who confidentally claimed sexuality is a choice, not in the way that you can be straight on Tuesday and gay on Thursday, but rather that it can change over time depending on your experiences - Depending on the circumstances of your life you "choose" to become straight/gay/bi in kind of a subconscious manner.

I call utter bollox on this one as I am certain you are born with your sexuality with which you stay til death. Surely there are many homosexuals who claim they "did not know until later" but even they were always homosexuals and did not really "change their sexuality".

I have always been very sure about my sexuality, already at age 5 I had this huge crush on the neighbour girl and went over to play with her every day and even kissed her lolz (pimp). My straightness has remained steady and the very thought of doing anything sexual with a man repulses me.

To discuss:
Can your sexuality really change over time?
(If yes) What do you think could cause such change?
Or do you think everyone is actually bi without knowing it?

 

That’s not as much rubbish because they’re claiming sexuality can change over time, it’s rubbish because they’re describing a subconscious change as a “choice”.

Sexuality is complex and I don’t think we truly understand it. My instinct is that there will be some core element which is fixed fairly early on and won’t change but also other elements of our character and mind-set closely related to how we feel about other people, including in sexual and romantic terms which will naturally shift, develop and evolve through our lives.

Frankly I think the real problem here is that there are too many people with socio-political vested interests in establishing some specific definitive conclusion that getting anyone to even acknowledge this complexity and uncertainly, let alone try to properly understand more about it, has become pretty much impossible.

 

Not sure. My readings tell me sexuality is decided already in the fetal stage and depends on the development of hormones and chemicals. Thus it is to bee seen as something you are born with and something that is fixed.

 

I think sexuality must be partly environmental. How else do you explain weird fetishes?

 

Cases of beastiality and paedophilia and whatnot are extreme and rare and probably is caused by severe mental illness.

I think people can "turn into" asexuals though. Because as I declared in this thread, I do not really believe it is an actual thing. It is probably more of a "defense mechanism" caused by bad experiences in childhood, bad past relationships and a fear of rejection.

Other than that, sexuality just has to be decided already in the womb. Anything else does not make sense to me.

 

People have some pretty (*)(*)(*)(*)ed up fetishes bro. Baby chicks being crushed alive by feet, rape fantasies, etc. Surely some exposure as a child triggered these sexual attractions, did they not?

I don't think it's all Environment, that's absurd. But I can't see room for it to be entirely genetics.

 

Might as well be genetic.

In other words a straight person can be formed into being homosexual and vice versa? Or even worse, someone normal formed into being turned on by executions? No way!

 

What in your genetics gives you such a fetish when it could easily have been picked up in childhood? I am not saying that sexuality is fluid or anything, quite the opposite. I think once you've got these attractions you're stuck with them for life. But their origins aren't necessarily genetic.

No, but I think if you showed a kid hours of gay porn at age 3-6 those kids would have a significant uptick in homosexuality in later life. I think if you made a kid pleasure himself to people getting hung for hours on end he'd be pretty messed up in life and many have an execution fetish. Who knows.

Again, I am of the opinion that once these things are set they're set in stone.

 

I think you just contradicted yourself.

 

You mean like a woman who's 18 versus a woman who's 81? That sexuality? Or are we just talking gayness?

 

You’re treating “sexuality” as if it’s a single simple thing, just a switch between “I fancy these people or I fancy those people”. My point is that the whole concept of the kinds of people you’re romantically attracted to, sexually attracted to, when, how and what you do about it is diverse and complex. It’s clear that major elements of that are pre-determined very early in our development but it’s also clear that there is more to it than that.

 

There is no conclusive science on this. Personally, I believe it's entirely environmental, but happens very early in life. Prior to the age of reason (around 8 ). Therefore it's no more a choice than any other "dysfunction" or function.

 

Are you sure you're not simply uncomfortable with the idea of parent-caused homosexuality?

 

How can parents cause homosexuality?

 

That is what is meant by "environmental". And yes, I absolutely believe it's caused by parents/primary carers - in the absence of any sexual abuse or similar.

 

I think my father was a believer of these theories as when I was a little child he put up a poster of Spice Girls in my room most likely to ensure I did not go gay.

Never asked him why the heck he bought it and can't really see any other reason. Perhaps this is what made me straight.

 

Spice Girls would be more likely to turn you off girls, surely

Seriously though, I don't think there's any formula to it ... it's just balanced and 'ordinary' parenting. I don't think it even needs to be male/female parents, or two parents. Things get weird when one or both parents are too much or too little. Or worse, one of each.

There is an interesting theory that a lack of warmth from a same gendered parent is a potential cause. The kid develops an overweening need for close contact with that gender, which in puberty expresses itself sexually. Not sure what I think of that. Another theory is that fathers who don't actively teach and engage in man stuff with their sons are the problem. Ditto mothers who don't engage in, and in effect celebrate, femaleness with their daughters.The old idea that overprotective mothers are responsible no longer has any traction. Not sure why it ever did!

 

Falling in love changes everything.

 

Not sure about that. Or rather, most of us can only fall in love with a particular gender. Eg, I've never been even close to having the lightest crush on a female. Regardless of how beautiful, or interesting, or kind, or funny. Women are myself, therefore 'eunuchs'.

 

Giving it a closer thought, I suppose you are right. But I guess the idea was that waking up to see a poster of four girls=child will be attracted to girls. Or something along the line. Lolz.

Hmmm. In my uni programme there was this lesbo whose parents were divorced and she grew up with her father not seeing her mother too often. Judging from her case that theory stands strong. However, I still think it is mostly about chemical/hormonal development in the womb because correlation does not count for causality.

 

You think anyone can fall in love with anyone? Meeeh.

 

I just have very little faith in the entire idea of genetically driven 'behaviour'. Neuroplasticity et al.

 

Let us just meet in the middle then; if you are a boy and your father is absent, you are more likely to not develop the normal amount of hormones and thus more likely to turn gay.

 

Was it Karl Popper who claimed you can never make valid conclusion unless you have a sample of 100%? Eg. One could claim every man is actually homosexual (or at least bi) because no man has met every man in the world and thus cannot really know if he is incapable of falling in love/being sexually attracted to men.

 

Or, your father was around but neglected to do male bonding stuff with you

But yeah sure, biofeedback is a thing. Psychology can impact body chemistry - we all know that. Stress and cortisol, etc. That's where the science on this stuff falls down, incidentally. We can identify differences in neurochemistry, but have no way of knowing their cause. My personal belief is that almost all psychiatric disorders are environmental ... with only brain injury and similar the exceptions.

- - - Updated - - -

Karl had too much time on his hands