In your mind. A fool believes he is always right and has all the answers. I just don't understand why you focus so much energy on something you don't believe in. Couldn't you be channelling that energy into something positive? I do understand in a way, as when I was agnostic/atheist, my life was pretty empty too so I used to take my frustration out on those who seem content and are generally good people. It's a defence mechanism to hide personal insecurities. It's important that you know that we all forgive you and love you. God bless you my brother.