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Designated Driver causes fatal wreck Texting while Driving

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by krashsmith81, May 10, 2015.

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  1. krashsmith81

    krashsmith81 New Member

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    Fredrick Phillips knew he'd had one too many long island ice teas, so he sent a text to his girlfriend Patrica Davis to give him a ride home. He didn't want to take a risk of ruining his brand new Pinto by driving while intoxicated. Patricia received the text and responded with a text herself, stating, "I'm on my way."

    About 15 minutes later Fredrick grew restless and sent another text, explaining to Patricia that since they only lived a few miles down the road, he was considering driving anyway. Patricia responded by texting, "No, don't drive! You could end up killing someone, and besides, I'm almost the--". The text was cut off when Patricia rear ended a family of four, causing instant death.

    Local politician Tom Reynolds gave the following statement to Acme News: There is an important lesson to be learned here, and I think we all know what it is. This all started with a patron consuming one too many long island iced teas, and I will be putting forth legislation to ban them immediately.

    I spoke with the driver who was rear ended, Felipe Martinez, who stated in broken English, "You know, the coyotes who helped me and my family get to America from Mexico warned us about many things, but sadly, he never warned me about the danger of distracted drivers. 2 of my children are now dead, and sadly, my map to the welfare office was also lost in the crash. It was even autographed by Vicente Fox himself." Felipe broke down in tears, and was unable to continue.

    -=The End=-
     
    krashsmith81, May 10, 2015
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  2. Gatewood

    Gatewood Well-Known Member

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    Oh my stars and garters! That's so very wrong on so very many levels. :icon_jawdrop: Well done indeed! :clapping:
     
    Gatewood, May 10, 2015
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  3. krashsmith81

    krashsmith81 New Member

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    Hehe, I've tried to be equally offensive to everyone today :) I have to get my anger out somehow, so I don't end up on top of the water tower with a slingshot putting peoples eyes out!
     
    krashsmith81, May 10, 2015
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  4. Gatewood

    Gatewood Well-Known Member

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    That makes sense to me . . . :cool:
     
    Gatewood, May 10, 2015
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  5. Hoosier8

    Hoosier8 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Brand new Pinto?
     
    Hoosier8, May 10, 2015
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  6. Gatewood

    Gatewood Well-Known Member

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    I did notice that. I rather thought that it should have read, "painstakingly refurbished pinto".
     
    Gatewood, May 10, 2015
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  7. Hoosier8

    Hoosier8 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Even offensive to time travel.
     
    Hoosier8, May 10, 2015
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  8. krashsmith81

    krashsmith81 New Member

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    Good point, I should have thought that through a bit more :)
     
    krashsmith81, May 10, 2015
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  9. submarinepainter

    submarinepainter Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It was not funny
     
    submarinepainter, May 11, 2015
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