How are you different online?

I'm curious, how are you different online compared to how you are in real life?

I was thinking about that today. I can be combative on the forums, snarky, sarcastic, and aggressive.

That's the complete opposite of how I am in real life. I've had people who have been close to me for years tell me that they've never seen me angry before. I've apologized to people for going off on them with them only for them to look at me with complete confusion and ask what I'm talking about. Most of my friends and coworkers know me as being a stoic, calm, supportive person who keeps his cool in the worst of circumstances . . . and some have said I do so in a way that disturbs them a bit.

I competed in debate in high school and college, and my approach was always laid-back, calm (once again), and calculating. That's not what I do here. So I'm just curious: how are the rest of you different here?

If we were to meet you in real life, what would surprise us?

 

Interesting thoughts. Would it be assuming to ask if irl you have pent up negativity that an anonymous setting allows you to release?

I'm more of a what you see is what you get. Irl, I treat others as politely as possible, but I won't stand for nonsense. I can come across as intimidating because I have a tendency to speak loudly. I'm not sure why that intimidates people, but my wife says I can easily scare people just due to my voice being forceful when speaking about subjects that I'm interested in. I'm a good listener, but expect to be listened to in return.

 

I’m as I represent myself. I don’t lie about my knowledge, or lack thereof.

What is different is that though I am sarcastic in real life, I’m more choosy about who I’m sarcastic to or with.

I engage far less with extremists, but we really don’t hang out with extreme partisans much. Hanging here helps me try to understand why anyone would be loyal to a politician or party, no matter what.

I really am a Libertarian thinking person. Max freedom for max people.

 

I'm pretty much the same here as I am in real life. If you treat me with courtesy I will return the favor. But the minute you don't, then I'm willing to do that as well.... Except for here I have to pull my punches.

 

@yardmeat

I am going to have to answer in kind with the present majority, that I am not really different, here, than in real life-- except for the fact that, in real life, I would less likely be involved with these online arguments. In real life, if one does not know another person, it cannot be assumed that they wish to argue over political topics. While I do occasionally encounter the easily offended, here, I always start off assuming that the debater who has come to the forum, is willing to hear opinions that conflict with his own way of seeing the world.

I will push those ideas, in the real world, but do so, with a bit more discretion and diplomacy, to feel out my interlocutor, than I expect to be necessary, here.

 

That's a fair question, but a complicated answer. I don't think I have a lot of pent up negativity, but I do have a lot of pent up aggression, and I've pent up that aggression because I've grown up thinking of aggression as being negative. I know, consciously, that isn't true. Aggression isn't inherently negative. But that's my instinct and it's easier for me to get it out online I guess.

I'm one of the most diplomatic people you will ever meet . . . to a fault. I have a habit of letting people push me around. And as long as they are only doing it to me personally, I put up with it and even pride myself (again, to a fault) on what I can put up with and keep my cool. But I don't stand for people doing the same thing to my friends and loved ones. That's when my IRL aggression comes out. I'm working on standing up for myself the same way I stand up for others.

I've only been in a handful of fights, and have most often ended up becoming friends with the person I fought against.

 

I don't think that I'm very different here than I am around any other group of people or, at least I don't try to be.

I try to keep my responses civil but can be provoked and then feel ridiculous for briefly caring what an angry and unhappy person writes.

I try to have a friendly rapport when possible and remember personal anecdotes. For example, didn't you have a dog named "Spike" that died a few years ago?
I remember because my dog died at about the same time.

Anyway, participation, here, is supposed to be enjoyable so I see no reason for CSS (Chronic Snark Syndrome)

Thanks,

 

Yes I did. RIP Spike. Fuking tumor in his sinuses at 8 years old.

 

@Grau now I have chewy. Supposedly across between a blue heeler and a chihuahua but I think he's more like a fox.

A crazy hyperactive Fox that never slows down. 22 pounds of craziness

 

Even though my crystal ball is broken I can still predict that Chewy is going to keep you very busy.

Just based on the photos, Chewy looks a lot like an Australian Shepard I used to have about 30 years ago. "Roo" was an absolutely wonderful dog who was even allowed in some of my favorite bars she was so well behaved.

Roo was my constant companion during a dark and dangerous period in my life after I testified in open court against some local gang members who had been caught with some stolen guns of mine.

Of course the courtroom was full of other gang members who threatened and tried to intimidate me.
For the next few months, I discouraged friends from visiting me and slept with a fully loaded Mini-14 by my side which I would occasionally shoot in the basement for the benefit of gang members who loitered on the street corner.

Anyway, my wife & I currently have two dogs and a cat. All are rescued companions from people who could no longer keep and care for.

I wish you and Chewy many years of happiness and good health.

 

I'm polite and courteous here, which is why American posters hate me but IRL I'm not and tend to just settle every dispute with my fists, so as you can see, I'm quite a likeable character IRL.

 

Looks way more like a fox than either a blue heeler or a chihuahua, though sounds like the energy levels match that mix more than the appearance does. I've got three myself right now: two pit bulls and a Chinese Crested. I'll need to put up some pictures later. The biggest pit bull is full of "I need to meet everyone" energy. She charges straight for other dogs if I'm not careful because she assumes that she can make friends with all of them. Her favorite place ever is the vet office. She doesn't mind getting shots as long as she gets to meet a bunch of people and a bunch of other animals. I'm sorry to hear about Spike. I lost my German Shepherd, Bear, to frozen esophagus at just 5, but he was such a good boy. He could go off-leash anywhere and I never even trained him, and he was really great around people and other dogs. His only flaw was that he couldn't resist a ball. He almost tackled a woman at Home Depot because she had a ball of twine.

 

Cool. The only thing about him that seems Blue heeler like is the erect Shepherd like ears and the energy level.

Never had a pit bull but a couple of my friends do and despite their reputation they are usually pretty well mannered dogs.

I did have an incident about 5 months ago where I let my dog out on his cable in our yard at about 3:00 a.m.

I heard some commotion and went out there and here's this guy trying to get his Pitbull off of my dog and he is latched on. I'm not a small guy and I punched that dog in the head three times as hard as I could before he let go. I was livid and almost got in a fight with the owner of the dog right then and there.

I have since heard that a better way to get a dog to let loose is to chop it in the throat. It was sure eating those punches.

My dog had some puncture wounds and he limped for a couple of days but it seems that that was the extent of it.

My dog is like yours that every person and other dog is a friend. Which is not necessarily good for a 22 lb dog. I think maybe he learned that not every dog is a friend that night.

 

Do you really think that American posters hate you?

This one doesn't.

Good luck with the fisticuffs and remember to keep that mouth guard in.

 

Mine have been in a couple of fights, only one of which I can blame them for (and another I blame myself for). My middle-sized pittie got out of the the fence when I let her out to pee and I didn't realize that the pet control guy had left the gate open (this is the one I blame myself for). She ran over to my neighbor's yard and immediately got jumped by his heeler, though I don't blame the dog for protecting his territory. The neighbor was able to break up the fight by spraying them with the water hose and neither dog had a mark on them, despite all of the noise and theatrics.

My big pittie was jumped by my aunt's dog twice while visiting: once when she got too close to the treats and another when she was playing with another dog and my aunt's dog decided she needed to police the situation. We just pulled them apart and they were back to being friends a couple of hours later: again, not a mark on either of them despite all of the noise and theatrics.

Another time I was walking the two pitties at my mom's place and my mom's cat came out and started terrorizing them, following them around, charging at them, etc. They both were growling at the cat and bumped into each other and got into a fight between themselves. You would have sworn they were trying to kill each other from the noise and commotion, and it took almost a full five minutes to break up the "fight," but the only scratch was a literal scratch: one of them had gotten the other in the leg with a toenail.

With that latter fight, my sister showed me a trick where you have two people grab each by the back legs and calmly walk backward. Her husky was a bully and she had learned it dealing with her. She said the next step would have been for us to stick our thumbs in they're asses . . . I'm glad it didn't come to that and I don't know if that would actually work, but damn if that wouldn't make me forget about fighting!

 

This dog was latched on to chewy pretty good. I didn't want to hurt it but my dog obviously is more important to me than that dog.

The owner did show up the next day and apologize and we ended up basically being friends... To some degree anyway.

Once I get back to walking good I'm going to get some steel t post and drive them into the ground and use whatever the cheapest fencing material I can get is. Make him a decent sized kennel of sorts. Maybe a square of 15 or 20 ft on each side. Probably have to run the wiring into the ground because he likes to dig. We have four or five steps on the front porch and when he is off his leash he basically runs and clears all five steps from the ground level.

I keep him on a 15 ft cable in the yard. Somehow the little Houdini has managed to unhook the clip on the cable and slip off several times.

He's not slipping his collar and the d-ring on the collar where the cable clip ties in is fully intact.

I don't know how the hell he manages to do that. Every dog I have ever owned I do my very best to make sure it never gets loose.

Even if a dog is not dangerous a Chihuahua bolting into the street can cause a traffic accident

 

Oh, definitely. Our little dog is out biggest escape artist and can get into the most trouble if she gets out. I miss my boy Bear. You could leave the gate wide open and he'd never step one foot outside without one of his people there to walk with him.

 

See, and that’s why I’ve no interest believing you.

 

Absolutely they do. I remind them of their debt.

 

I think very few are in habit of arguing with total strangers like they do in social media.

 

The last time I had to stop two dogs fighting there was a crowd of people shouting like maniacs and pulling on leashes and collars trying to separate the two animals. I simply walked up, grabbing the beer from one of the spectators on the way and emptied it on the head of the dog who wouldn't let go. Worked a treat and everyone was happy except the guy who had sacrificed his beer.

 

From what little I know about certain European football / soccer games, I think that you may see some exceptions to your observations.

Additionally, I think that there are parallels between the way people drive and how they express themselves to others in an anonymous forum.
I've seen people who are as relaxed and easy going at the dinner table turn into an aggressive and angry bully behind the wheel of a car.

Since one is even more anonymous on line, it's hard to tell what someone is like in real life except by what and how they write.
I think that we can be sure that the insulting and tough talking person behind the keyboard would talk very differently if caught, face to face in line somewhere.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks,

 

The thing about driving is very true, as is the second point about 'tough talk', which is what I also meant when I said most people don't argue with total strangers in real life. I see people say things here that would certainly stir up violent reactions in many people in real life. People simply would not get away with insults in real life.

 

I'm me, with no apologies.

I attempt to address the subject and not the poster, and those that feel they always have to do the insult and brush off are about as low class as it can get. If they are like that in RL, I pity them.

 

I don't engage with any of the MAGA crowd IRL. They're in and around my life, of course, but I refuse to discuss any politics with them. If they start, I walk away. Not trying to be rude but with such polar opposite views I don't see any benefit. Here, I will often ask questions.