Rick Perry is going to be a great target for the liberal media during his run for the 2012 presidential candidacy. Here is a list of jokes and more to come. "People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida." –Conan O'Brien "This is the first debate Rick Perry has participated in since he announced his candidacy. Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam." –Jimmy Kimmel "Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, 'I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.' In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, 'Don’t worry. I’m not as smart as George W. Bush.'" –Conan O'Brien "Rick Perry is now the front runner. Of course they’re letting him run in front. Because he’s the one with the gun." –Stephen Colbert ‎"Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote." -- Stephen Colbert "Perry is an attractive candidate for many conservatives, because he wants smaller government, to cut national spending, and he knows how to fire a grenade launcher. He’s like the Sarah Palin of politics." –Jimmy Kimmel "Rick Perry was once a Democrat. Just once, in college. He was experimenting." –Jimmy Kimmel "He's not George Bush on steroids. Rick Perry is what happens if Lex Luther distilled down George Bush essence in a laboratory and crossed it with gun powder and semen from the finest thoroughbred in Lubbock, and then strapped that concoction onto a nuclear missile and shot it into the f*cking sun! And then, waited, waited, waited, until one day, on the anniversarry of the Alamo, a solar flare, yada yada yada, Rick Perry!" –Jon Stewart Jon Stewart, riffing on Rick Perry's remark that Americans should want a president who's "in love" with America: "You want a president who would, in a rainstorm, grab America's hand and take shelter with America in a nearby barn. Maybe help America out of its wet clothes. Maybe lay America down on some hay bales. And then, as America and Rick Perry become one, the sounds of their lovemaking merging with the thunderstorm's cacophony, the barn shutters rattling, the livestock, the livestock they want to look away but they can't, their eyes are transfixed. I am Rick Perry and, unlike Barack Obama, I will f*ck the (*)(*)(*)(*) out of America." [Clip about Governor Rick Perry of Texas with the announcer saying: "He's close to his family. Remember, his father-in-law did his vasectomy."] Jon Stewart: "And may I remind you, his father-in-law is not a doctor." "Why would the Josh Brolin character from 'W.' be running for....what!? That's a real guy?" –Jon Stewart on Rick Perry "It turns out that Texas Gov. Rick Perry got a D in Principles of Economics. So he can't be president, but he can get a job on President Obama's economic team." –Jay Leno "Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference." –Jay Leno "Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno "Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there." –Jay Leno "In a new videotape message, Texas Gov. Rick Perry urges his supporters to follow him on 'Tweeter.' After hearing about it, John McCain laughed and said, “What an idiot! It's 'The Tweeter.''" –Conan O'Brien "Gov. Rick Perry of Texas shot a coyote while he was jogging. Who carries a gun while jogging? I can barely manage my iPod. I like the idea of runners carrying guns. Think of how interesting the Boston Marathon will be." –Jimmy Kimmel http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/Rick-Perry/a/Rick-Perry-Jokes.htm
I got one: Q: What's the difference between unicorns, mermaids and green jobs? A: Absolutely nothing.
