Losing Friends Over Politics

I just wanted to get some opinions on this issue. In the last two years, I've lost the ability to continue lying about my beliefs. Frankly, because my true beliefs about the world are abhorrent to most people, I've lost about 80% of my friends. Like most people, I do not like isolating myself and enjoy the company of others, but political issues have become so important and divisive that I am no longer able to accommodate what I perceive to be stupidity or irrational thinking. Similarly, many of my former friends believe I'm a heartless monster and not someone they want to be around, because of my beliefs (among other emergent personality traits).

I guess I'm curious about how you all respond to these kinds of issues. If you generally identify with one of the major political ideologies, then you won't know what I'm talking about quite as much, but if you are a person who has substantial disagreements with the vast majority of people, I'd like to hear about your methods of approaching it. I find myself adrift in a sea full of people who aren't even from the same planet, and I'd like to figure out how to change that. Lying worked for about a decade, but I am just sick of the effort and have no more tolerance for the majority of people.

Thoughts?

 

Politics are becoming very real in todays world. There are people who would take the rights of others by force. If you are not willing to stand for your principals, then you do not deserve the rights that others have died to gain and preserve.

Freedom is not free, and sometimes involves sacrifice. The divisions between the political spectrum are so wide today, that it is hard to imagine what a person that did not believe in the same principals you do would have to offer as a friend......

 

I only think about the lawful and peaceful revolution seriously, the rest is a circus.

I did have to laugh at a friend who liked trump and was worried about the zika virus. I told him he has to stop believing what he hears on TV and radio.

 

Very good post, right on. Which is why I put universal American principles first as an effort to demonstrate what shared principles can do.

Do you agree and accept that the framers of the founding documents intended for us to alter or abolish government destructive to our unalienable rights?

Do you agree and accept that the ultimate purpose of free speech is to enable the unity adequate to effectively alter or abolish?

 

i stopped being friends with a VERY obsessive, hateful, angry Bernie supporter.

non-stop, 24/7, all he does is post about Bernie.

totally took over his life.

every 5 minutes, another pro-Bernie, anti-Hillary post.

really really kinda crazy.

he has now left Facebook, as he was being harrassed by someone due to his political beliefs.



this is what happens when you get too extreme

 

Like the old saying goes, I don't discuss politics or religion in mixed company. There's plenty of other things to talk about. Me, my mother and my girl are each firmly "none of the above," so we talk a little. My brother and his wife are strong Trump supporters, so the three of us don't talk politics when together. As far as everybody else goes, I just wanna know who's buying the next round.

 

I'll say two things:

1. Politics and religion. Either of these topics is likely to inspire disagreements and fights among your mates. You need to find a good balance: respectfully put forth your opinion when appropriate, and permit them to do the same. I have had many friendships with people who disagree wildly with me (I am in a similar position in terms of my ideas being unpopular) - but we get along because we respect each other's perspective regardless.

2. You might need new friends. If all you're doing is the above, then your friends are self-absorbed pricks. Shows a lack of respect on their behalf for your opinion. That said, I somewhat doubt that this is the issue, and think that you probably just need to moderate the strength of your rhetoric. You aren't supposed to be a used car salesman pushing a sale, but a car enthusiast discussing the benefits and drawbacks of various makes of vehicle - one of which you have a preference for. In such discussions it's typical to generate a healthy respect for each other despite your differing preferences.

 

I told a friend to get lost over politics. He was conservative. But he was mean spirited. Racist, sexist, homophobic. HE got too bad to take out to eat. He would make little scenes. Order like a Soprano. Talk grandiosely unsympathetic about groups. I told him I wanted to hurt him, so I would be saying goodbye.

Its not the politics that are abhorrent. Its inhumanity. Love Thy Neighbor can never steer you wrong.

 

Your entire life is going to be littered with otherwise pleasant people whose views on certain topics you find odious and disagree with emphatically. Learn to deal with it now or live you life in isolation.

Or worse yet - you risk segregating yourself from huge swaths of the community. I know many syndicalists, populists, even fascists. You get a good perspective of the world around you when you have a diverse (sometimes unstable!) group of friends.

 

I could not take him away from shelter island. He was a maroon. Lived on a boat. He was becoming uncivilized. As was explained to me by a waitress at a restaurant on Shelter Island.

 

In my case, there is quite a bit to lose. I've known these people for many years, shared many experiences with them, and we trust one another a great deal. My beliefs seem a pale replacement for the former friendships, but I've begun to take things a lot more seriously than I used to. If I were willing to keep my mouth shut more, everything would be fine, but I just can't tolerate the stupidity anymore. I expect people who want to be respected to have reasons for their beliefs. If someone is going to believe something that I perceive to be dangerous to me, the least they can do is make a little sense.

No one in my friend group is like this, thankfully, and the tension is more subtle than that, but the differences are still there. As you know, I consider myself a nationalist and hold many beliefs that a majority of both conservatives and liberals find reprehensible, so virtually any topic that even remotely touches on politics will involve a number of major disagreements. These disagreements go far beyond the policy level and include deeply entrenched philosophical positions--fundamental premises--that have driven a wedge between us in recent years.

I just end up getting bored and preferring to read by myself. If I can't engage someone in stimulating conversation, then they might as well not exist, unless I'm wasted. Short of finding people I can really click with, I am forced to either drink heavily or avoid the company of others.

It's easier to do when you share at least a thread of common beliefs. For example, here are four things virtually none of my friends agree with, and these beliefs affect everything else:

1. Morality is relative
2. People are not equal
3. Free will is an illusion
4. Life is more zero-sum than it isn't

Basically, they just just can't relate to any of the positions I take on issues because our basic assumptions about the nature of reality are vastly different.

You are a much nicer person than I will ever be lol. I'm probably a mean-spirited person, deep down. At a fundamental level, I do not believe that people mean well or can be trusted.

Honestly, I've found it hard to find groups of people intelligent enough to debate issues who have enough honesty and curiosity not to get deeply offended. I enjoyed having my more normal friends, and I am sick of replacing them with nerdy people I can occasionally communicate with.

I think some of us are just too different to ever belong to a real community. Some people will always be on the outside looking in, even if it isn't apparent to others. This isn't to say that I'm awkward or socially ill-adjusted in any shape, but it does mean that I am constantly lying and know that I could never find acceptance with any normal group of people if I were ever honest.

The burden of lying is overwhelming and my mask is disintegrating. I suspect this is partially why I had a meltdown during my senior year. I consider myself an excellent liar, but I'm not immune to the stress that comes with constantly maintaining a facade.

 

Wouldn't it be great to get a wide perspective of society, and to not segregate yourself based on living standards, blackness, income, political views, etc?

This isn't 1950. Things have changed. We try to no longer segregate society and marginalize classes of people. How would you feel if someone told you they wanted to hurt them because of their political views and living standards? Pretty rotten I'd gamble.

So go and give him an apology.

 

No need to maintain any sort of facade. Be honest, but respectful. You'd be surprised how often people reach to meet your level if you put in a bit of effort.

 

Your illness at ease, in some ways, is analogous to the violent reaction to PC. Rural folk are feeling left further behind. And they resent it. They want to be upstanding.

They don't like to feel like much of what they might say should be sensored.

Oh, and you are too intelligent for most people. You think too much and make them feel inadequate. Ask me how I know.

 

It isn't that I can't get people to entertain my ideas--they just don't digest well with most. People often say that I am too cynical, negative, or depressing. They don't disagree with my various positions as much as they simply hate the way my thoughts make them feel. Ultimately, however, they end up being one and the same. They refuse to acknowledge true statements because those things are depressing, which creates conflict between me and them.

 

Adolf Hitler fought relentlessly against his adversaries for over fourteen years before ascending to power. His struggle was a long one. You will experience loneliness, despair, and frustration if you decide to embark on this desolate path. Hitler faced many obstacles and challenges in both his personal and political life, but like he states in Mein Kampf, obstacles and challenges are meant to be overcome. Hitler paved the way for us, now it's up to us to achieve the final victory; for if we lose this struggle our race, culture, and civilization will be wiped off the face of this earth.

[video=youtube;ctq0oDXelVM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctq0oDXelVM[/video]

 

I have so far resisted putting up a Trump sign in my front yard because there is a black family living a few houses away and I do not want them to believe we are racists--the Trump movement is not racist, but there have been so many lies about this coming from the other side it amounts to brainwashing.

I have tried telling a few liberal friends that I support Trump and now they all make fun of me, and one person that considers himself gay also practically yelled at me that he would never support Trump because Trump is "against gays"--even though, upon questioning, he then admitted to me he had never heard Trump say anything negative about gays.

The Dems have any conceivable minority in the US right now believing their very existence and survival hangs on voting Democrat. That, combined with their filching of free speech by negative labeling and PC-ness has made public discourse unpleasant, to say the least.

Our final say is in the ballot, though, which mercifully and wisely is still anonymous,...if not somehow electronically subverted.

 

Illness indeed.

I'm not sure if it is distance created by cognitive differences, mental illness (on my part), or both, but there is no doubt that there is distance between myself and those around me. I've known it for many years and spent my entire life creating fake personalities in order to deal with different types of people, as needed. In a very real sense, I am not sure that I even have a personality, traditionally speaking.

I have only been exposed once, by a woman I was dating, and she said it was both erotic and extremely disturbing. I happened to be drunk that evening, and I was able to maintain three different personalities at the same time. She observed how I dealt with different people in different contexts, and she said she had never seen someone like that in action.

 

I am passionate as hell about Yamaha dirt bikes. My mate is passionate as hell about KTM dirt bikes. He refuses to acknowledge true statements (Yamaha rulez!), because those things are depressing (they just dropped $8k on a KTM bike). He thinks I'm cynical, negative and depressing.

Same goes for politics. I'm mates with some pretty militant leftists. People who think I'm an absolute loon for opposing Clinton. Yet we get along because we can at least see that each party has good reasons for feeling as they do, and we value each other's opinion. Very few people are the exception to this rule - pretty much only those who are "ideological imperialists". They're pretty uncommon - I'm mates with a chick who frequents Stormfront, thinks I'm a race traitor, etc - and against all the odds we get along 95% of the time. Most people don't give a (*)(*)(*)(*) about politics (even those who claim to!), so get along and you'll expand your view of the world immeasurably.

If all else fails, you've got some intel on the opposition

 

I'll certainly check the video out. I've always sympathized with Fascism, though not with Hitler as a person. If you subtracted the Holocaust, I would say I agree with Hitler on a great number of issues--more than either Hillary or Trump.

Yes, the media blitzkrieg is pretty remarkable to behold. I have never seen such an openly Orwellian display in my lifetime, and I'm not sure why it isn't bothering people, even the Dems. Whether a person believes in Hillary or not, they should find the media's influence in this election to be profoundly troubling, even if it is in support of their favored candidate.

 

Perhaps you are just blessed with good friends lol.

I suspect that my cynicism is at least halfway responsible for many of the social issues I've had in the past two years, even if it is partially related to politics. People like to be around those who make them happy; they don't like having people (*)(*)(*)(*) on their optimism as a matter of course, no matter how well-reasoned.

 

Well... in that case, better check the below documentary:

[video=youtube;St2sM1TwEx4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St2sM1TwEx4[/video]

 

To the OPers: They are not "friends." Rethink what a "friend" is.

 

Are you talking about politics more than 10% of the time?

It's fine to be cynical, but:

a) everything in moderation,

b) be a realist, not a pessimist,

c) value the ideas of others even if you think they're blatantly wrong.

[hr][/hr]

If you do all that and they're still (*)(*)(*)(*)ty at you, then have a talk to them about it, then if that doesn't improve things drift away.

 

Sounds like you and your unconditional love if Hillary.