My mental struggles with Covid-19 AKA Coronavirus

Honestly, lately this thing has given me sort of a mental existential crisis. And I don't mean politically. I mean personally, internally, inside of my head stuff. I could of course, call a doctor but you know what? Things like these need to be shared with friends, and I do feel friendly towards most if not all posters.

See, I considered myself an Alpha and that doesn't mean what most would ascribe it. I'm not a jerk, I wasn't the dude that got off pushing other people into their lockers for the lulz. But I carried myself with dignity and class(or at least I thought anyway) and told myself: I got this.

That's what it meant to be an Alpha for me: I got this. What Covid-19 shows you, directly in your face is: I don't got this. Nobody does. And as much as I've stayed inside, twice I went to the store. Last weekend, to get a drink and just tonight, to try to get my dog some dog food. The store was closed and I'm telling myself I'll go tomorrow to get my puppy food.

What I reasoned, is that I should take responsibility for my grandmother, for my puppy. If I live among them, I should carry that weight. Normally, if we had substantial funds in the bank account I could just order these type of necessities but not so.

I was listening to Dr. Fauci on how we shouldn't go overboard(and I did wash my hands right after coming home.) but really, how should I put my thoughts in prospective? Going from "I got this" to knowing that I don't got this. Mother nature does.

 

We live in the mountains. We watch after a neighbor that is elderly and has COPD. My mother has COPD. I have COPD from the burn pits in Ballad. We stay pretty much isolated. We sanitize every box from UPS and every piece of mail. When we go shopping we sanitize everything before we put anything away so we don't cross contaminate. We take it very seriously but we know what we need to do to protect ourselves and just do it without worrying much about it. We don't trust anyone when they say they have been taking precautions. Well, we trust two people. We have some neighbors that were told by the country to self quarantine because one of them was sick. He was going to go shopping, during his "quarantine" so he called our elderly neighbor with COPD and asked him if he needed anything. I heard the door bell ring. My neighbor was standing there with two bottles of vegetable oil for out elderly neighbor. He had this big ole grin and stood there like he expected me to invite him it. I told him to leave the oil on the deck and I closed the door. That is when I made the decision not to trust anyone. We are responsible to our families, like you are thinking. Being relaxed bout how we treat this situation can lead to the death of someone else. That would be a heavy burden to live with. I am responsible to my mother and our elderly neighbor. I don't think I could live with the thought that I caused their death out of negligence when I knew better. Your concerns are healthy ones.

 

You're right, the moment the behavior becomes second nature and the more and more I am able to navigate this new environment and "not die" or "get sick"(or get someone else sick), is the more it can be ingrained in my mind and I can feel a sense of both normalcy and relative ease with myself. I think I'm gonna do what some others have suggested: Go shopping really early to avoid the crowds, maintain the social distancing of 6 feet and then after that come back to wash my hands and clothes.

 

It sounds like you need to feel like you're doing something about it. Just keep yourself well nutritioned, wash your hands and face frequently and look into what OTC foods and suppliments boost your immune system against viruses (theres many). For starters, put garlic on everything and theres no such thing as too much vitamin C.

And, of course, social distancing.

BTW, pretty much any meat is at least as good for your doggo as dog food. So if you can't find some, get whatever folks arent buying at the deli.

 

Thanks, you're right. I suppose I'll add more vegetables into my diet. More carrots on the uptake, bananas, etc. All I've got to do is make my lifestyle healthier, not just throw in the towel to this thing.

 

Speaking as someone who hit rock bottom and almost put a bullet in my head:
Most of life is beyond our control. You just do the best you can. The key to peace of mind is acceptance. And most stress is the result of anticipation. Just deal with things as they come. No matter how much you worry, it won't change anything. It serves no purpose. It only depletes your mental energy.

So don't worry. Be happy.

 

There is no real 1 fix solution to mental anxiety as everyone's state of mind is different. As others have mentioned, you can only control what you do yourself. Take solace in the fact that you are personally taking things seriously to avoid spreading the virus to yourself and your family. You will be at lower risk for catching it than those who are not.

Beyond that, it is in my opinion, not worth getting stressed over things which you cannot control. Sporting events, politics, even life and death may hit you emotionally very strongly. But dwelling on them - especially the negative emotions - will not do anything to change the events themselves.

 

Being under Shelter-In-Place does give us a lot of time for self-reflection.

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While I do not want to make light of your reported existential crisis........If you are going to tie being an Alpha with an internal feeling of "I got this", and then your state of feeling like "you got this" is destroyed by the accompanying odds of dying from this virus when you currently do not have it, then in reality, by your own definition you are not an Alpha.

Mother Nature is always in charge, and this virus does not appreciably change that reality.

 

Ever having felt, I got this, is false hope. We create a fiction that we are in control, as being out of control, is our GREATEST fear.

It is the root of all fears. We read the obituaries, and glean a cause of death, and create reasons why THEY brought it upon themselves, or at least why WE are not going to do likewise. Sure, you will die, SOMEDAY. Far far away.

It is human nature. And, the reason why right wingers blame the poor, the ill and the unlucky. It is human nature, to believe YOU will not die, or be unlucky, or poor.

As Jesus Christ said, love thy neighbor. And if we alll did so, this would be paradise. Compassion is what will save you, he said, and lack of compassion is what will see you in a lake of fire, he said.

 

Failing to take advice on dealing with a disease does NOT make you an Alpha. It makes you stupid. It makes you a threat to your family, friends and even pets. There's nothing Alpha about that.

Nature presents plenty of risks, alright. And, that's why one must wake up and pay attention.

 

Who said or even implied ANYTHING relative to failing to take advice on dealing with a disease making someone an Alpha?....Oh.....ONLY YOU. I guess this is one of them thar Strawmen argument where you argue against a point that has expressly not been raised and then you pretend like you have just accomplished something.


Sincerely, your response is from so far out in left field, ( relative to what I actually said) that it is truly bizarre. At no point did I say or imply ANYTHING even remotely close to the point that you are arguing against.

 

You need to follow along - starting with the OP and others.

 

I wish I have never read this thread. I feel like I am not taking this as seriously as I should after reading it. That being said, it is all out of my control (I do my part though). I am NOT going to get all anxious about anything I cannot control. One day at a time for me. Besides, I am not sure what is the truth and what is not. Keep doing you and I will the same. Hope to see you all on the other side.

 

LOL.....So you give me a reply to MY post that LITERALLY had not one thing to do with what I had just said, and you now say that "I" need to follow along. LOL....YEESH. You replied to MY post. When doing so, you need to follow and respond to what I said. If you want to respond to something that is in someone else's post, then you need to NOT reply to me and to instead reply to THEM. Do you see how that works?

 

You wwere raving about "alpha" and I showed you where to look.

You didn't actually want to know?

 

Nope. This is silly. Why are you continuing with this when you are so OBVIOUSLY wrong?

I responded specifically to the OP and how THE OP defined the term Alpha. Nothing more, and nothing less. This is a one page thread. Read it for yourself. Read the OP, and then read my response. None of it had ANYTHING related to your strawman response to me.

A simple apology will do. I will be waiting with baited breath.

 

I think you are not the only one who is affected in their mental health by this crisis. It is normal.

What helps me is the following:
1) Keep up my normal daily routine as much as possible, even though I work and lecture from home. That means, dress nicely when I give my zoom lectures, shower on a daily basis etc. Just pretend like I do regular work days.
2) Tune out the noise from the media. Don't listen to the hourly number of deaths updates. I have done the same thing for the stock market too, which has helped me stay the course.
3) Don't dwell on what could have been. We had planned a camping trip with the family for Easter break next week. Had been looking forward to this for months. Now, it has been cancelled. Instead we spend time with family at home, play games etc, do things we would normally not do. Yesterday, we took a car ride through the countryside, just to get out of the house and see something different.

Finally, hang in there, this, too, shall pass.

 

You've got nothing. And, I stand by what I said.

 

Thanks, you're right I need to pick new hobbies and follow the deaths thing a little less. It's obviously very important to keep track of the situation, but I need to keep my mind occupied with better, healthier things. As long as I keep following the steps to stay healthy, I should be able to look at other things.

 

That's where I'm at. I dont take it as seriously as my husband who is one Alpha guy that is VERY concerned. My son has moved in as he was living with his girlfriends family ...with one family member who happens to have immune compromised issues. Since my son works at a convenience store...with all sorts of risks of being near the wrong person....they kicked him out. And we have him now which I love but my husband is feeling vulnerable. And sometimes it catches up with me and I feel concerned....

 

My own view is that Alphas don't ignore risk - they want to identify and resolve it.

I never fail to thank those who must work in proximity to the general public - so, thank you and take care.

 

So you stand by your strawman argument where you are arguing against a point that I expressly have not made? LOL..good for you. I guess that in your world, EVERYONE gets a ribbon!

I personally would feel obligated to show where you actually made the argument that I was arguing against or I would apologize saying something like "my bad, I mistook someones ele's argument for yours" or whatever applied in the situation; but as long as you feel good is all that matters. To each their own. I certainly cannot dictate YOUR morality or chat integrity. That much is abundantly clear.

 

i suggest a course on comprehension 101, then re-read post #9

 

For me, as much normalcy as possible helps to stay positive. Following the daily death toll by the minute and thinking about the horrible ways these people died just makes one paralyzed. I know, it is easier said than done.....