Bruce and Steve , 2 Australians ,flew to England for a working holiday .after applying for a few jobs and missing out they saw a job advertisement for a butler and chauffeur for an elderly titled lady. “This is us “ Bruce says to Steve.” But we have no idea about those jobs” says Steve. “ leave it to me mate, replies Bruce, “ I’ll do all the talking “ So they go along to the interview and it all is going along brilliantly,as the interview is coming to an end ,The titled lady says “ well you young men seem to be perfect for the job all I need to see now is your testimonials. As they are walking back down the driveway afterwards,Steve says to Bruce “ If you knew the difference between testimonials and testicles I think we might have got those jobs “
This one is told of Paul Keating… Australia had a Conservative political party called the Country Party once. Paul Keating, Labour Party, (eventually PM) was speaking to the members in Parliament. A Country party member of Parliament was interjecting. Keating said “I don’t want to listen to you, mate. Shut up!”. The MP said loudly, protesting: “I’m a Country Member!!”. Keating - very quick, said “I remember!…”
Some years ago there was an international rugby match in Cardiff. On the train from London, three Aussies found themselves sitting opposite three Kiwis. The Aussies complained to the Kiwis about the price of the train tickets. The Kiwis said that they only bought one ticket for the three of them, which made the Aussies snigger because they knew a ticket collector would catch them. Just before the ticket collector arrived the Kiwis piled into one of the toilets. The guard saw the engaged sign, hammered on the door and shouted, “Tickets.” A hand poked round the door with a ticket, which the ticket collector took before moving on. On the return journey the Aussies, not to be outdone by Kiwis, only bought one ticket. The Kiwis said that they didn’t need a ticket on the return journey. Again, just before the ticket collector arrived the Kiwis piled into one of the toilets. The Aussies piled into the toilet opposite. Then one of the Kiwis came out of their toilet and hammered on the door of the toilet that the Aussies were in. “Ticket,” he shouted.
