The Fabulous New Recession Political Drinking Game.

Requires access to a full bar and cable new channels. Rules are as follows.

When a politician says…

“The greed of Wall Street.” (Drink one cosmopolitan)

“The pain on Main Street.” (Drink one domestic pint)

“The most vulnerable in America.” (Drink one tall-boy of your choice. Pabst, or Schaufen Bocken Black Label recommended.)

“We can’t spend our way out of a recession.” (Drink a Budweiser, slowly.)

“Kick the can down the road.” (Two jell-o shots and a mind eraser.)

“Attack on the middle class.” (Shot of American bourbon in a paper cup.)

“Get the economy moving again.” (Shot of Milk of Magnesia.)

“Class warfare.” (Three sips of water. Spit the third sip out.)

“Blah blah, we’ve done our best to reach across the aisle, blah blah, but the other side wants to play political games etc.” (Red Bull and Vodka.)

“Holding the American people hostage.” (One shot Jaegermeister from an actual animal horn.)

“These are scare tactics from the other side.” (Schnapps of drinker’s choice. Recite Hippocratic oath.)

“There is plenty of money and we can print more.” (Sniff glue.)
“The tea party radicals, racists, terrorists, ignorant, misguided, hillbillies, etc.” (Gin martini filtered through silk handkerchief with goat meat sandwich chaser.)

“This is the fault of the Bush Administration.” (Bloody Mary.)

“This is the fault of the Obama Administration.” (Bloody Mary.)

“The wealthiest Americans need to pay their fair share.” (Another Bloody Mary, extra celery.)

“We’re truly sorry. For the past several decades, we’ve recklessly spent your hard earned money, and money you haven’t even earned yet. We continue to do so, even though, in our heart of hearts, we know it is damaging to the country and future generations. We waste a lot of it on stupid and thoughtless programs to make our friends happy, without any respect for how hard you worked for each dollar.”
“We have over regulated businesses, so that they cannot prosper or feel comfortable hiring new employees. We’ve created trade agreements that ushered our manufacturing base, the heart of the American economy, overseas.”
“We promised entitlement programs to people without any sound, actionable plan to execute which would fulfill those promises. We’ve had decades to correct this, but we are afraid to upset people by creating a realistic plan to fulfill our obligations.”
“We have over-expanded our global military presence, becoming involved in conflicts that have nothing to do with the people who attacked us on 9/11. We usurped your support and patriotism after that tragic day to exert our aggressive agenda to stabilize an entire region for our economic interests, instead of looking for solutions at home that might supplant those needs and improve our economy.”
“We created a housing crisis by over-regulating banks and mandating the approval of uncounted risky loans. We under-regulated how they would treat those risky loans in the financial markets and cause a massive false boom in housing that was guaranteed to collapse because of our selfish motives and poorly judged involvement.”
“We are unwilling to be honest or accept responsibility for any of these actions. It is too important for us to always appear to be right. We are also unwilling to make the necessary hard choices to correct our past mistakes. This is not because, at some small level, we don’t care about America and its future. Rather, it is because we have to prioritize telling voters what they want to hear, and avoid upsetting our campaign contributors at all costs. Our first job as politicians is to stay in office and keep raising money. We have no choice but to keep lying to you.” (If you hear a politician say this. Call your local chapter of AA immediately and begin the 12 step program.)

 

Sounds fun! Too bad I don't get CSPAN anymore. I'd be hammered by noon.

 

If you watch that much cable news, you almost need to be hammered to stomach it.

 

Beautiful post BOTH parties politicians are gutless swine. I see there are demonstrations and riots in India because of their craven elected. that needs to happen here. we are in a global recession jump started by the unbridled theft of the banking and wall street goons that wrote bad paper and sold it worldwide and DEFRAUDED investors in the TRILLIONS and No One went to jail. our gutless toady politicians protected all those swine by shoveling them OUR TAX DOLLARS and two tarps later there is little recovery.
In Germany where they are more fiscally sound they let the biggest gambler banks go under and sent a clear signal any bailouts were going to be surgically selective. Our elected swine threw over a trillion at the wolves.

when I hear about how WE can't afford this or that when they(our elected) raid our "lockbox" I remember dumb and Dumber when a suitcase was filled with IOUs as they blithely wasted it all. This is not a Democrat problem nor a republican problem yet a political problem as lobbyists buy these swine to vote and twist bills to their liking and we go along.

 

No doubt.

I don't want to see riots or violence here, but something drastic needs to happen. The debt talk that the TP forced on them was a good start.

Yes and no. America's recession was jump started by the false housing boom, and because of a lot of bad behavior on Wall Street. Much of that was mandated by the government, the very people that are supposed to keep the Wall Street "goons" in check. BTW - Wall streeters aren't goons, to me. They are capitalists, they do what is most self serving to profit. I'm sure some of them have a conscience about how they go about it. Many do not. As much as I don't want gov't intervention in business or WS, there does need to be some, and it needs to be done by experts who have a handle on the situation and can spot problems, not dumba** politicians. It's just having one set of goons in charge of another.

The global recession was contributed to by America's recession, but it went nuclear because of poor policies and unfundable entitlement programs by the socialist republics and their intertwined banking systems..

Absolutely. There is no way of knowing for sure, but I believe that if we would have let the banks fail, the car companies fail, the state govt's fail - It would have been a nightmare, a true great depression. But we would be on a more acceptable track to recovery and true growth again. There are aother factors though that would still be dragging us down.

And it didn't help the bottom line a bit, the unemployment rate.

I agree. I don't see it changing though, without a reform to the tax system and a manor reform to the election system.