"Wife wasn't attracted to me after I came out as Trans"

Gabbi Tuft: Wife Wasn't Attracted to Me After I Came Out As Trans (insider.com) Oct 15, 2023

"After more than 20 years of marriage, I came out as trans to my wife.
She supported me but later said she was no longer attracted to me.
After a lot of pain, we are no longer together, but we still love each other."​

This is a case of mental illness. Just look at the before picture of the guy. He practically looks like a bodybuilder, his entire body is huge and muscular in ways that most guys could only imagine.
This doesn't seem like a case of someone who's "always known" they've been trans since they were a child.
I think he has a strong attraction to the female sex and eventually that attraction turned into an obsession of him wanting to personally BE that female sex.

No guy works out that much or gets that muscular unless he has an obsession with his body and cares a lot about appearances.
It seems that obsession simply turned into a different kind of obsession over time at some point.
This has got to be some type of body dysmorphia disorder.

In my opinion, if you've spent years weightlifting like that and got your body looking like the most manly man (he probably took steroids), it's too late to try to transform into a woman.

 

Possibly autogynophilia. he likely has had a thing like this for years. Kind of sad people can't just accept themselves for who they are.

 

Why would he get so muscular and big (way beyond what even most female bodybuilders look like) though if he wanted to be a woman all that time?

There's no doubt he had to take male steroids to get that big, as big as he was during his professional WWE career.

 

I'm not clear how your random lay opinion is relevant or why she would need your permission to transition in the first place.

 

Well just because he decided to fruit loop out doesn't mean that she's going to turn into a pseudo lesbian. Lol

 

People have fetishes.

 

I don't think anybody said she needed permission or what people have to say about it is relevant.

It's a discussion nobody has to have a reason to discuss something.

 

1) A man can be a trans lesbian; that is, just as some women are attracted to other women, so can a person who is a woman internally, be still attracted to other women, or be bi-sexual.

2) LOL, that bodybuilders are all super straight "manly" men. Even Schwarzenegger, in his Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding says straight out, that the urge to get bigger, comes from inner insecurity, & that one is not just building his musculature, but also his
self-esteem. I believe, though, there are various other, potential motivations-- one of which, certainly, can be narcissism. If one is in love with one's own physical form, and is a man, well then it is not such a stretch to be attracted to other men. In fact, I would think that a fascination with the male form, in general, would also be among some bodybuilder's motivations. Do you not think any gay guys, look at bodybuilding magazines?

 

Hopefully he's happier now. Or she. I dunno. I'm glad no one pushed them into it when they were a kid, at least. Adults should be able to do what they want with their bodies. But they should also be advised that most people are never going to find 'trans' attractive. And that's ok. I choose a few things that apparently make me unattractive as well. But I do so with full knowledge.

 

You are assigning your own beliefs and biases to this person. Perhaps he was very uncomfortable with his feelings of being the wrong gender, so uncomfortable to the point of overcompensating and working to appear as manly as possible. There is a huge pressure for men to be manly in society. It looks like he overcame this and worked towards becoming the person he wanted to be. Self-fulfillment is not mental illness. A large part of mental illness is a behavioral or mental pattern that causes significant distress or impairment of personal functioning. If he is happy and content with himself then he isn’t mentally ill. Gender dysphoria is a form of mental illness because the feelings that the biological sex you were born with is wrong causes significant distress. It’s not always obvious when people are struggling especially when you have never met them.

 

I highly doubt he is bisexual. Think about it. If he were bisexual, what reason would there be to go to the extreme of a gender transition? If he equally liked both male and female bodies, he would have been equally as happy in one as the other.

Though there could be the possibility of being partially bisexual -- that is, attracted to both but being far more attracted to the female gender.

 

Being transexual is not about what sex you are attracted to, but rather is about what gender one feels that he or she is, themself.

 

And you are pushing aside common sense.

I'm saying the "theory" about how transgenderism works, held by Progressives, does not really conform to common sense. It's just an ideal that pleasantly conforms to a certain perspective.

It's theoretically possible, but I think unlikely. That apparently did not stop him from having long stylish hair as a WWE wrestler, and even wearing a little bit of pink color in his costume.

 

Here's a picture of this person. He went under the name "Tyler Reks" (as his stage name) in his WWE career.


Here's a picture of him working out with weights:


Here's a picture of him when he got a little bit older and had lost much of his muscle mass.


Maybe at this point he thought he was not looking so "hot" and thought that was the time to try to turn into an attractive woman.

Here this person is after the gender transition.


In this picture you can see that the tattoos are still the same:
image here

 

That's the supposed theory, but I don't believe that theory is really correct.
It's not that simple.

I think there are probably a couple of different categories of transgenders, and that they do it for different reasons.

For male-to-female transgenders, there are four categories.
There is the effeminate gay guy, who doesn't feel like he socially fits in, so believes a gender transition will solve his problems. Often they like feminine things, so they feel being a female would be a natural transition.
There is the man who has such an obsession with the female sex that it manifests as him wanting to become the female he desires. Usually these are older more mature men, often with some element of mid-life crisis. But sometimes a teenager.
There is the very young person (under the age of 9 or 11 years old) who does not really know anything and has been made to believe that they can be female if they want, that it's an easy life choice. The decision is made because of the influence of their mother, they want to be like their role model.
Then there is the adolescent teenager who is socially isolated and does not feel they fit in and who are uncomfortable with their body (as many teenagers are). They assume that being the wrong gender must be what is wrong.

I suspect probably more than 90% of transgenders could fit into one of these four categories.

 

I agree. I think there is a connection.

Striving for a perfect male body does not, of course, mean one is sexually attracted to that body. (Most bodybuilders are entirely heterosexual) But it does show that person has a fixation with their body image and body identity. It's not too difficult for that body fixation to get transformed into transgenderism.

 

Common sense involves actually understanding that you can’t label someone as mentally ill based on an article on the web. Do you know this person? If you don’t then everything you are saying is based on your own biases and beliefs and nothing else. What you think is moot as you have no knowledge of this person especially when your opinion is based on obvious intolerance.

I almost gave myself a concussion laughing at the above. Where did you get that from the “Manual of Transgenders according to intolerant transphobes”?

 

Bottom line.....we just need to accept mentally sick for who they are.

 

Well, your "supposed" thesis in this debate, or subject of your thread's discussion, concerns one person, in particular (whose wife was no longer attracted to him sexually, when he came out to her, as a trans female-- remember?). And this person would not appear to fit in any of your categories. The only one that even includes older men, would be your model of the female obsessed guy, often having a mid life crisis. I honestly haven't read your linked article, but my sense is that your description would not fit this person. So I guess he's one of the exceptional ones? Would you say the same, about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner? If not, what real evidence do you have, of his/her fitting into your speculated category?

 

Not sure what point you are trying to make. I wasn't contending that this person, specifically, was bi-sexual-- how would I know something like that? All that seems to be assumable, is that he is still attracted to his wife, which would make him a lesbian transgender female. This shows how your way of thinking, misses the mark, in trying to understand the way transgenders feel. According to your perspective, expressed above, we should ask, *"what reason would there be to go to the extreme of a gender transition?"

 

It looks like the wife at first tried be accepting and supporting, but then after he went through with it she realized she could never be sexually attracted to him (now "her") and staying in the marriage would not work. So this guy went through the transition and lost his wife. They both should have known better.
Maybe if she had put her foot down earlier and had let him know that she couldn't remain married to him if he transitioned into a woman, he might have made the decision not to go through with it, that he valued being with his wife more.

 

I'm claiming that these people do not undergo a gender transition simply because they "feel as if they are another gender" on the inside. It's not as simple as that.
That is the leading progressive theory (gender ideology) but I think it is wrong -- or oversimplified to the point of being, in essence, wrong.

There exist different reasons WHY these people might feel they want to be a different gender. It's not simply because "they are that gender on the inside". That's foolish and ridiculous.

(I'm not saying it absolutely does not exist at all but I suspect it might only account for a tiny percentage of the people undergoing gender transitions these days)

I find it equally laughable that people like you think these transgenders want to switch genders "just because". That you really believe these people are a "different gender" on the inside, and then you think there's some need for the outside body to "conform" to that inner gender.

Do you really think that's why 90% of these transgenders are doing it?

 

Unless this trans woman actually says, she wishes she hadn't gone through with it, there is no basis for your speculation. I mean, do you not think this person understood the risk, in telling his wife? Don't you think the trans woman knew this, about herself, sooner? Yet she kept it from her wife, as long as she could. I would guess that, finally, she could no longer deny being her true self. But being one's genuine self, doesn't mean that everything is suddenly all wonderful, that all one's troubles disappear. And it doesn't mean that one might not need give up things they love, about their old life and self.

 

I know-- I'd read your previous post, in which you'd gone through the 4 explanations, you said you believed accounted for 90% of cases. So I had replied that this person, who the thread is at least nominally about, doesn't seem to fit in one of your four slots. Why do I need repeat everything I had said? My post ended with two questions:
1) do you feel the trans woman of your thread, was among the 10% of exceptions?
2) where would you classify Bruce/Caitland Jenner, who also made the transition, later in life: as another "exception," or as fitting into your one category for older men, having a mid life crisis, "who has such an obsession with the female sex, that it manifests as him wanting to become the female he desires?" Personally, that doesn't seem to fit Jenner, either, from what little I know of his personal life.

Yet, instead of answering my two, straightforward questions, you give a more general version of your detailed post, which I'd been answering. That makes it seem, that you really don't have an answer-- suggesting that your theory is rather sketchy.

How about if I give you a second shot at those two questions (numbered, above)?

 

~ A case of Caitlyn Jenner envy. Obsessions are popular in these days of psychological confusion .

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