Your child is sleeping with a member of a different race. What do you do?

Discussion in 'Race Relations' started by Anders Hoveland, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    Your child is sleeping with a member of a different race. What do you do?

    If you have absolutely no problem with interracial dating, there is no need to reply to this thread, we already know that about a third of parents would not care at all. Lets hear from those that would feel a little uncomfortable in such a situation. Just to avoid questions about details, let us suppose the child is 15 or 16 years old, or however old enough you think a child should be before they experiment. Would you feel any differently if it was your daughter rather than your son? Would the specific type of race matter? (for example would you feel that it was acceptable if it was an asian girlfriend, but not if she were black?)

    You would likely try to explain to your child your particular views. But would you physically try to prevent the relationship? Move to another school?

    I am sure many of you that believe interracial relationships are completely acceptable, would nevertheless feel a little uneasy if it was actually your own child involved.
     
  2. Individualist

    Individualist New Member

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    I support interracial marriage, I think it does wonders to cut down on racism in the long run so I'd have no problem with my child doing so.
    The only way that I'd feel uncomfortable is if the other parents disapproved the situation. If they were really against my child's relationship and the child was a male then I might feel that my child was in danger. That's the only reason though. I also would hate to have to deal with the family if they disapproved. If this was the case I might support my child breaking up or going underground with the relationship
     
  3. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    I would sit down with my child, and have a serious discussion, using the following two pictures to help get my point across:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    If that did not work, I would pay a beautiful white girl around his age to pretend to be his girlfriend, in hopes of ending the other interracial relationship.

    But if convincing him does not work, then there is really nothing else I could do. :frown::tears:
     
  4. Jake A

    Jake A New Member

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    I come from a old school italian family, you do not date/marry/fk any one who is not of your own race and religion. If you do, you get disowned.
     
  5. Unifier

    Unifier New Member

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    The sleeping with part bothers me more than the race part. As a parent, you're never comfortable with the idea of your kid having sex with anybody unless they're married. Even though 9 times out of 10 you're being a total hypocrite about it.

    As for the race part, I don't see what the big deal is. I've dated a girl from just about every race. I tend to look at it like going to Baskin Robbins and enjoying all the 31 flavors (yeah, I'm a pig). So as long as whoever my child was with was a good person, I wouldn't really care what racial background they were from.
     
  6. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    Well I only like vanilla. And I am afraid that with all the mixing together of the different "flavors", eventually there will not be any plain vanilla ice cream anymore. It will all be lemon-mocha-vanilla- and that does not sound very tasty at all.

    Will future whites feel the same way I do? Or will they have an equal preference for rainbow sherbert as they do for vanilla? Hard to tell.

    I can only tell you that I would not even bother buying a cone if the store ran out of vanilla ice cream. So I am concerned for future generations.

    My grandfather was told by his mother to marry a good lutheran white woman with good morals.
     
  7. BleedingHeadKen

    BleedingHeadKen Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My in-laws got over it. They wanted their daughter to marry a nice Filipino boy.
     
  8. Kranes56

    Kranes56 Banned

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    Who cares? If my kid wants to have sex with somebody else, the only question I'm going to ask is, (For a daughter) did he use a condomn, and (For a son), I keep reminding you, why do you keep forgetting the condom?

    JK.

    But seriously, why should I care? My kid wants to have a happy life. I say let them.
     
  9. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    When you are a minority in your city, it becomes unlikely that your child is going to date within his/her own ethnicity. Something parents should think about when they decide where to move.

    Perhaps our children would actually prefer a member of their own race, but just settle with whatever is available?
     
  10. Comet

    Comet Banned

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    It is often said of white women that 'once they've had black, they don't go back', but is sex enough to sustain a relationship? Of course not. Mixed relationships have a high failure rate and more people now prefer to stay within their own community.
     
  11. Jarlaxle

    Jarlaxle Banned

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    That sounds like the kind of family that you might WANT to get disowned from.
     
  12. Unifier

    Unifier New Member

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    I'll be honest. This does concern me on some level. That's the one drawback to enjoying all the flavors. If everybody does this too much, you end up with only one boring ass mixed flavor. Variety is gone. Sure it saves you time deciding on what you want, but (*)(*)(*)(*) it gets boring.

    So I honestly appreciate people who only want to reproduce with their own race even if I am not one of them. Because they're helping to ensure that we don't end up in a boring, grey world one day. Some people think this would be a good thing because it would do away with racism, but at what cost? Look at everything you're giving up to get there. I'd much rather celebrate our differences than make us all boring and the same. Besides, human nature shows that wouldn't fix anything anyway. Once everybody is the same color, then they'd all just start finding new things to hate about each other.
     
  13. KSigMason

    KSigMason Banned at Members Request Past Donor

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    Why is interracial dating/marriage wrong? Interracial doesn't equal welfare trash, trashiness isn't exclusive to any one race; just look at trailer parks.

    Both pictures show your irrational bigotry and lack of a soul.
     
  14. submarinepainter

    submarinepainter Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    first thing is if they are sleeping with anyone they are not a child anymore , My youngest is married to a nice girl who happens to be part Black , I do not have a problem with it , they are adults and even if I did would it matter?
     
  15. Zook

    Zook New Member

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    My children would never sleep with someone from a different race. They're not insane.

    To be honest, I wouldn't be as perturbed with it if it was any other race other than black. I want my children to be safe and well. Thankfully, my children are more racist than me anyway. They're smart kids.
     
  16. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    Very much agree. Usually in interracial relationships, sex is much bigger factor than love. It is just more difficult to love/care for someone that looks (and acts) so different from the people you grew up with. There are many white guys that actually say that, although they enjoy asian girls, they would only ever marry (and have children with) a white woman.

    If this is indeed the case, than further racially integrating our children's schools will just make it more difficult for our children to find serious marriage partners, since many people meet their future marriage partners in school. If 50% of the students in the classroom are from another race, that cuts the chances of finding love down by half!

    And what about for minorities, including sexual minorities (gay, transgender)? They are also likely to prefer their own race. If an Indonesian lesbian is in a big school with only 10 other asians, what are the chances that she is going to be able to find a serious relationship? Very, very low. Look at the rates of depression amongst people that are both racial and sexual minorities. Many such studies show that as many as 1 out of 4 have attempted suicide! Probably because they cannot find boyfriends/girl friends. Before you try to promote racial integration, take some serious thought into what the consequences will be.
     
  17. Bender

    Bender New Member

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    Racist people are scum (apologies to scum).
    If I had a kid, I wouldn't care about the race of the person they're seeping with. However, if they were with a racist, I'd disown them. :puke:
     
    Leo2 and (deleted member) like this.
  18. Anders Hoveland

    Anders Hoveland Banned

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    But surely you cannot doubt that there will be minorities that will strongly prefer their own race for sexual relationships?

    If they are forced to choose between being with a different race, or being alone, you have to ask yourself whether this will cause them unhappiness, or contribute to their depression. It can also be hard for minorities to fit in since they were brought up with a different culture, or even just because they look different.
     
  19. HillBilly

    HillBilly New Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG] well , AndersHoveland , being a Father of 3 daughters , all grown ( or they think they are )

    Most times I have left the ' dating scene ' to my wife to handle when our kids started dating , but I did have my say , and I only told my daughters one thing that I absolutely demanded obedience on ...

    I told them that a man should not be judged by his color , but I would be hurt if they ever did anything that brought shame to their Mother and to my name.. which is the same one they share , all a person has is their own self respect for their family and their own selves , don't mess it up by making bad choices ...

    seems to me that worked out fairly well ... thank God for the respect my kids have for their Mother and I ... it's been a blessing...

    kids is gonna be kids , mine , yours , everybodys kids gonna make mistakes in Life , but kids need some guidance , you know ? [​IMG]
     
  20. Ekeleferal

    Ekeleferal Member Past Donor

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    I'm a mixed race man, half black and half white. I do not have any children but I don't believe I will have a problem with them dating whichever ethnicity they are attracted to. However, because I don't have children it's presently impossible to say if I will or not.

    I had the benefit of one half of my family doing well in life and the other half being a mix of some that did well and others that blew it. I'll indulge the racists now and confirm their assumption that, in fact, it is the white side of my family that did well nearly across the board. There is one late thirty-something living at home without a career and a young child given to her by some Irish trash that dabbles with drugs and alcohol.

    Because I was exposed to affluent, white suburbs and rundown, black ghettos-sometimes in the same day-I learned there is only one type of person I will do my best to keep my children away from:trash. Black trash, White trash, Asian trash, Arab trash etc ad nauseum. Trash is trash.

    Personally speaking I am presently with mixed race girl-black, white Native American(not the 1/20ths Native, her great grandmother was full-blooded)-and it is the best relationship I have had. I never thought I'd say this, but I enjoy being with my "own" kind more than anyone else that I have been with. That is not to say my relationships with other types were fundamentally doomed from the outset. There are just nuances and subtleties you can enjoy with someone of a similar or same ethnicity that cannot be enjoyed with others.
     
  21. Jarlaxle

    Jarlaxle Banned

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    I would have a major problem with a child having intimate relations with someone of another race!

    That should be limited to the same race: HUMANS!
     
  22. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe you condone 15 and 16 year old kids having sex at all.
     
  23. cassandrabandra

    cassandrabandra New Member

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    well actually ... there is more diversity within a "race" than between races - so you wouldn't miss the diversity at all!

    just be glad you aren't so small minded that you need to stereotype people based on skin tones like the OP does!
     
  24. cassandrabandra

    cassandrabandra New Member

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    actually, I think ian understands racial issues all too well.

    your children won't thank you for teaching them to be narrow minded bigots in the end
     
  25. Zook

    Zook New Member

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    I haven't taught them anything. They're smart kids. They know the score naturally.

    My eldest daughter recently came to me and asked why the black kids are always fighting at school. I said to her "why do you think?" She said "good point."

    Ian's ignorant, a bit like you.
     

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