Centuries ago, I was sent off on a dangerous quest. To find the two halves of the legendary Medallion of Makalakalakalaka. It was said to contain magical powers so.... uh..... powerful that it had to be split in half and hidden in two opposite ends of the land in order to keep humanity safe. For anyone possessing the entire thing could unleash unspeakable evil. It was too much power for any one man to have. Fortunately, I'm a quarter chimpanzee on my father's side so I got by on a technicality. A dark time had come upon my people. A mysterious wizard had come into our town and begun enslaving the villagers. The town held a meeting, and it was decided that this stupid medallion was the only thing that could save us. And so the village elder sent me off to retrieve both halves and unite them to save the world. I set off across the land and battled monsters and demons, escaped trap-laden labyrinths, banged a few hotties (not really part of the mission but a guy has needs, ya know?), and eventually found my way to the Gorge of Despair. It was an infinite chasm of emo music. I slit my wrists three times while crossing it but eventually made it to the other side. Where I was greeted by a giant sleeping beast. The beast of the legends. Known only as Butterhead the Spastic Esophagus. He looked a little like a Wampa from Star Wars with the face of Robert DeNiro. I threw a rock at him to wake him up. "Hey, (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)! I'm here to fight you! Wake your ass up!" He slapped me and went back to sleep. So I just climbed over him and took the damn medallion piece and went on my way. Butterhead is a (*)(*)(*)(*)ty guardian. Don't ever hire him to watch any of your valuables. Then I hitched a ride back to town with a random horseback rider. Unfortunately, his horse was carrying a lot of stuff so I had to ride on the underside of the horse. If you've never been horsefront riding, I don't recommend it. You get dizzy being upside down, you bang your head on a lot of rocks, and then there's that whole awkward part about getting slapped in the back the whole ride by a big floppy horse dick. Anyway, I got back to town and coincidentally found the other half of the medallion in a jar of grape jelly as I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I unified the two halves and saved the kingdom. And henceforth, I was known as...... *dun, dun, dun* The Unifier
I chose my online name so as to make clear my position on any and all forums that encourage political debate.
What is the difference between a lib and a con? I still don't know. What qualifies someone to be hated by you? - - - Updated - - - That question was directed at libhater.
Ive had very heated discussions on other boards and a video game about names and their relative importance. On one board, users were allowed to change their names without losing the posts under the old name. I argued that it was destructive of any community and sense of community on that board. I thought it would be self-evident but there were those who thought otherwise.
Hellflower is the name of a song by Electric Hellfire Club. A friend introduced me to the band, and the song became a favorite of mine and the nickname just followed.
It just came to me. Probably from having just read a biography entitled,"Henry Clay:the Essential American". While I am a conservative on most things,I also believe in pragmatism when possible.
started several online accounts over the years, fitzgeraldfs, hbosch,kilgoretrout, (also used nattybumpho, sorry deerslayer)and (clark)atticus. All from literature. As I quit different accounts the final one left ended up AOL and clarkatticus. always liked the book, always liked the movie
I was in another forum for awhile and had an obscure name and if I ever defended Islam, people would get defensive towards me and be like, "What? Are you Muslim or something??" I found it strange. So when I joined this one, I was excited to just put it out there. So far has been great cuz what you see is what you get- an American Muslim Woman with an opinion like everyone else.
College. I was one of only a handful of Texans. People called me "Tex" The second week I was in school I was drinking at a party when a wannabe redneck sophomore from Houston *hurls* came up and started talking smack. Apparently he went to my high school's arch rival we beat in football but was rewriting history claiming his school won. Since I played in that game for state (this was a private Catholic school league TCIL) I knew we won. Both idiots had been drinking with a bunch of middle America kids grinning with eyes wide open watching the two rhinestone cowboys with boots and all yelling at each other in full red neck slang. He finally said he was here first since he was a year ahead of me and from now on I would be called "Tex Jr" That did it for me in my drunken state and I got up and slugged him breaking his nose. From then on I was known as "Texmaster" or "Master of all things Texas" But they still just called me "tex" after a while.