How sad. What do you tell people who've tried to better themselves but haven't been able to? Do you know anyone in a similar situation to this?
Well, now that this person has seen what self will run riot leads to, it's time to start thinking of someone else for a change. The job may not be great, but rather than thinking how much is sucks, why not try to see what can be done to help the people in it, and those who use it, get more out of it? If life has no meaning, give it some. Go volunteer somewhere and see how you can help. There are lots of people who have made bad decisions, her experience and ongoing restoration can be helpful to someone who thinks there is no hope. Finally, start asking for advice from people who appear to have done a better job at life. In the end, a self centered life leads most people to very dissatisfying results. Start thinking about what you can do for others, rather than expecting they are supposed to do something for you.
My life has been about 100 times worse than hers. But rather than mope around about it, I get up and go. When I'm not watching youth sports, I'm in my well supplied kitchen cooking & eating. Or I'm playing with my computer, listening to oldies or watching old movies, and I post on PF kicking right wing butts. It sure makes for loads of fun.
My advice....Attitude adjustment and remember you are not in Syria. Grow a set and count blessings instead of tears.
Well she seems to be starting the process of taking responsibility for her own decisions, so that's a start.
I would be if I relied upon another human for a long term relationship, that is why I prefer to stay single, less hassle and a lower cost of living.
I'd tell her that she's still just a kid. If she feels that she has nothing to show for herself, she should either identify what she wants and go after it, or accept that she has no coherent goal and live in the moment. Either way, she's much too young to give away her furniture, and wait to die.
At the same time we do need to tr to help the young today who don't have as much to fall back on as we did when we were young. Too many young as hurting themselves today. Bless their hearts they need someone to love and a brighter future . I have 12 grown grandkids and a couple of them struggle with depression and all struggle to certain degrees but live fairly comfortable.
This describes someone I know almost precisely (it could very well be them). Their troubles (the person I know) are largely the result of mental illness from a routinely traumatic and improper upbringing that has, most notably, deprived them the ability to regulate their emotions (much like language and empathy, emotional regulation must be learned by a certain stage of brain developement or it will be permanently innaccessible as a concept). They cant stick anything out long enough for a payoff. Anything less than perfection and bliss is hell for them because they have no patience or tolerance (and I don't mean social tolerance, but tolerance in every sense of the word). Its less that they arent trying and more that they simply dont 'know' (floabt) how to even try. Very sad indeed.
35 is young. I restarted my life at 35. I have exactly one good friend from before the age of 35, and hundreds that I have made since then. For me, though, the transformation was propelled by a commitment to self development when I was 40. Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination. Joy comes from letting go.
In this case, I would suggest she try to start trying to better herself since I don't see that she has even begun yet.
Psychological issues are real and not so easy to fix. Get some help Try meditation? Tm.org This individual seems to be trying so that's a good thing too, but happiness is a skill not a given
Sometimes circumstances can beat a person down. Bad luck. Bad decisions. Circumstances beyond one's control. Just being young and not realizing the consequences of choices. Who was it that said youth is wasted on the young? Anyone can experience problems and end up at rock bottom. I have noticed that people who are quickest to judge the homeless are often the same one to blather on about supporting our troops. What they don't consider is how many of the homeless are Vets.
