After a year in the US, I just have a question

So, originally I'm a Danish guy
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denmark). I didn't know too much about racism, because Denmark
is a "full-white-country".
I had loved planes, since my childhood, and as a young adult I started to
work as a pilot in Copenhagen, the Capital of Denmark. But after more than
two years, the Airlines sent me to work in London, UK, because of a
cutback in Denmark, so London Heathrow became my base-airport. I met my
wife in London. She worked as an economist in the London Office of the
Airlines where I was a pilot. She is lovely and the nicest for me-and she
is black. I don't care her colour, but something changed a year ago.
After three years in London, the Airlines abolished all of their services
in Europe. We became unemployed, with a little baby.
The substance is coming now! My wife is American, she just worked in the
UK as an economist of an American company. So we moved to the USA, a year
ago, and I got a job as a pilot, she works as an economist, everything
looks like OK.
But I'm fed up with something. She said to me, I should take it easy, and
laugh on it, but I'm fed up with racism. I hope, I just live in the wrong
side of the US, but I feel racism weekly. In the UK, in London, we didn't
get any looks, it was absolutely natural, but as a young interracial
couple with a baby, we get more looks here, than an animal in the Zoo!
I don't want to generalize, but we get most of the looks from three
groups: Old White Males, Young Black Males and Middle-Aged Women (from
both races).
I had some "stories" too.
Just three typicals:
One time, in a shop, an old white guy said with strong irony in his voice:
"What a pretty! If my grandfather would see it..." and he looked at us. An
other time I was waiting next to the Red Traffic Light, with my wife and
my daughter in the car and a young black boy shouted very loudly to me
"Leave my sister alone!".
The last was in this week. I had a flight back from Denver. My
father-in-law and my mother-in-law (I love them) minded our daughter. My
wife came out to the Airport, waiting for me, and when I so her, I kissed
her as hotly as I used to, and then two I heard, that a Middle Aged black
woman said loudly "Look at the blond guy, with the black girl!" with
nothing positive in her voice, and I saw, that an other middle-aged black
woman, who was with her, shook her head bitterly.

After all of these, my wife said, I shouldn't care it, take it easy, laugh
on it, etc. I know, she must be right. But I want back our Londoner life,
where we could love each other free.
Why is it problem, that two people love each other?

 

Count yourself lucky. I know from personal experience that the real whack jobs used to shoot people for race-mixing. It was only in my life time that it was legal in all states for a black person to marry a white person. It just takes time for superstitioons to die out.

It was only in my life time that blacks and whites could attend the same schools everywhere, or serve in the same military units. Now, with all units racially integrtated and more women in non-traditional roles in the military, men and women of different backgrounds are meeting as equals and finding more in common than ever before.

Might I suggest moving to Seattle or Tacoma?

 

Recommend the movie Lakeview Terrace ....

Black males are oppressed by racist white american men and have limited opportunities to be taken care of, so when white guys who are seen as their oppressors in America, takes one of their resources (successful black woman) its almost an insult in a way.

Old white guys actually respect it, that they can oppress the black man and then take his woman so there are no bad feelings when they do it.

Middle aged white women hate black women because black women hate them for seducing black men, so they are jealous from this relationship.

And the black women see it as betrayal against the black man, and hate white men for capitalizing on the insecurity of black men by seducing one of them immoraly

 

This reminds, South Park did something like this. Not what you would expect but, it certainly does show the double standard in America.

 

Good points. Anyplace on the West Coast (or even NYC) would probably be more comfortable for a mixed race couple concerned with 'fitting in.' Blacks are a 'novelty' in many European & Scandinavian countries and I imagine it would be culture shock to move from lily-white Denmark to America's deep south.

Although the OP didn't say which region his family is living in... sounds like they need to move someplace more cosmopolitan than Mayberry.

 

In the deep south the whites would generally be more racist seeing a white guy dating a black woman, in the cities its the blacks who are more racist about it.

 

I'm sorry for the late reply, I had busy day (not too much time on ground ). Thanks for all, all of the replies were succesful.
I forget to write where our home is, we live in Nashville, Tennessee (my wife was born here). Moving is not easy, we should find a place, where an economist, and a European pilot with Green Card can get job And last but not least, most of the time I love the live in the States, but it's a strong contrast for me after London, because in the UK "everything" was going on.
If I can have a question, what do you think about Rhode Island in my view? I didn't tell this idea to anybody, but it just come to my mind, that my brother-in-law lives in Rhode Island, so we wouldn't be "alone". But it's just a fresh and weak idea.
Thanks for all, one more time!

 

I don't know anything about Rhode Island (except it's small -- LOL). You would probably feel more comfortable in a New England state or the West Coast. The US is a BIG mass of land and different regions have different cultures. I think it's interesting Denmark is only slightly bigger than the State of Maryland.

Glad you like living here... hope you'll experience some other areas of the US before you put down permanent roots. Everyone deserves to live in a community where they feel accepted and welcome.

 

I'm a blond 51-year-old man living in Rhode Island with my black Trinidadian wife of 11 years. I can't recall any race-related issues with strangers, but her beauty is fading so jealousy isn't a big issue. When my mother tried to pick up my son at the schoolbus stop one day she had problems, and it didn't help when his half-brother came out to investigate.
When a man detained me at a public park one day, he said it was because I looked too old to be his father.
It's been cops that have shown the most racism and hatred, but they get paid for that.

 

Have you thought of the possibilty that you are really funny looking and thus get a lot of stares? Why does it have to be about racism?



lol

 

I think this poster is just trying to start crap. It seems as if your wife would be less tolerated in Denmark. Hell, from my experiences in many parts of Europe racism is far more common and open than here in the U.S.

I hesitate to say this but it is a fact.. there is an insidious air of racism that lies under the surface of society. As a person of color you feel it and if one is not careful, it drags you down slowly. Danes are generally mistrustful of all people brown or black...

Denmark is not Black friendly at all. If you are black.. do not apply. I have been told it is worse in Germany and France.. what do I know, I have never lived there.. but at least you have black professionals in those countries.. in this country.. you should see how surprised people are when they learn of my qualifications and then smile and say.. “but ah, you don’t speak the language, it will be very hard for you to get work.”


http://mrembo.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/being-black-in-denmark/


Figures obtained from the Metropolitan Police show that racially aggravated crimes are as prevalent now as they were twenty years ago. Between January and December 2011 there were 6886 racially or religious aggravated crimes in the Metropolitan Police boroughs. This is an average of 19 incidents per day in the Greater London area alone. The figures show that the victims of racially aggravated crimes are diverse, however white people top the statistics of people charged with racially motivated assaults, harassment and public order offences.

http://www.blottr.com/uk/breaking-news/racism-london-unsettling-truth


Denmark, a country traditionally regarded as liberal and tolerant, experienced a fundamental shift in attitude during the early 1980s that has seen it emerge potentially as one of the most racist countries in Europe.

http://www1.geo.ntnu.edu.tw/~moise/Data/Books/Reach of culture/cultural racism.pdf

 

Can't say I didn't have the same reaction the first time I read the OP. Esp the part of their usual 'welcome home kiss' at the airport. Some people have a problem with public displays of affection and even if they don't say it, they're usually thinking GEESH, GET A ROOM.

Nashville isn't a backwoods city. Gotta wonder if Tom's not just super-sensitive about his black wife. In Barack Obama's economy, I can't imagine anybody caring that much about somebody else's business.

 

Mixed couples are getting more common---but still can be jarring. In my small Southern Baptist Church....filled to the brim with older people who grew up with segregation....a young black man publically proposed marriage to his white fiance at the pulpit. I noticed all people clapping at the end...with the exception of one... lol.

I do think blacks tend to get angry. Years ago I babysat a half black/half white child and I heard angry comments behind my back from blacks when I took him with me grocery shopping. Frankly...there is a lot of racial tension here.

 

LOL. this was so stupid it made me laugh

some people are so entrenched in racism they are blinded by it.

times have changed, you should wake up, look around, and join the rest of us.

 

Its always about race to those who look at race as the #1 issue in their existence.

 

I have a mixed couple who live down the street from me... and they're both men. Srsly, does anybody care anymore?

 

Hey, if you can make a Blackberry pie as good as my grandma I'll marry your black, white, asian, or whatever ass.

 

I'm surprised there's still a couple of those paradises left.

Affirmative Action hire no doubt. The company needed more token black employees to satisfy their diversity quota. Hooray.

As you should.

That is about 70% of the US population you just described. That should tell you something.

Keep the races pure. Less conflict that way.

Hey, America became the king of the world, with over 50% of the world's GDP in 1950, during the days of segregation. Only after segregation in the 1970s did we begin our precipitous decline as a nation. There was also a lot less violent crime during segregation, as black criminality was kept in check.

Good for you. You both destroyed both of your family trees. Now you have a kid who looks nothing like you.

 

You assume too much. You have no basis for that whacko idea other than your own superstitions.

It isn't anybody else's business.

It says that a lot of peole still need to grow up and accept some basic biological facts.

Or we could just beat the nosy SOBs who make other people's sex lives their business into a bloody pulp when they act out. I am not going to change my behavior to coddle the superstitious twits. There is no biological reason to do so.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc falacy. (For the benefit of the kinds of people who believe this racist crap, that means that you are wrongly assuming that because it happened after desgregation it had to be because of desegregation.) This stupid rermark also disregards the fact that the corporatists began globalization of our ecconomy in the late 1960s under Nixon and the country was wasting money on the war in Vietnam.

Poverty has a lot to do with the crime rates. Do think some time.

Totally pulled out of youre butt. If they have children, the family goes on. That simple.

Chances are the kid is even better-looking than either parent. I can't, off the top of my head, think of many women better-looking than Halle Berry.

 

It's a shame you weren't here 4 years ago...This country is divided, and it's a shame. The divider-in-chief did that.

 

Or maybe so dang good looking.

Seriously, racism exists here but the younger generation is much more tolerant than the older except with the possibility of white supremacists and the Nation of Islam. My mother used to tell us she wasn't racist but she didn't want us marrying a black because, from her generational view, the kids bore the brunt of the anger. That just isn't as prevalent anymore.

 

Starting with you:

More intolerance and threats of violence from the far left -

Who knows why the USA fell from the world's biggest creditor to the world's biggest debtor within a span of 40 years. Maybe the burden of feeding, housing, and schooling 40 million helpless Negroes who felt they no longer had to work after desegregation had something to do with it.

That sounds so "1980s". That "poverty" causes all ills myth has been disproved time and time again...

Gosh you're old... What are you gonna say next, "Just Say No!" ???

She up breeds, he down breeds.

Yea, the light skinned sister that most blacks hate...LOL

If black is equally beautiful as white, why do so many black women (and men too!!!) wear skin whitening cream, straighten their hair, use hair extensions, or even have expensive surgery to look more European?!?!?!?

Making brown and black people look more European is a multi billion dollar worldwide industry!!!







Sammy Sosa:

 

---In my opinion outrage toward racism is as myopic as racism. There will always be some group of humans, through whatever affiliation, coalesce to defend some idea they believe is embodied by their association. let them die and rot with the rest of history.

 

And here we Americans thought that the Europeans were liberal and enlightened, now to hear their racist more than Americans is very tragic.

 

what exactly was racist from that post?