During a recent password audit by Google, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."
Ok - how many Blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Six - one to make the batter and the other five to peel the M & M's!!
Since I am blonde, I create positive blonde jokes: Q. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Blondes don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in Porches!
This is offencive and racist. Since when did blonde people become stupid? The only stupid blondes are the brunettes who dyed their hair blonde. All natural blondes I know are incredibly intelligent.
How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer? . . . . . . . . . . There is white out on the screen.
Q: Why did the blonde girl have bruises all around her belly button? A: Her boyfriend is a blonde, too.
A blonde girl was very proud that she learned all of her capitals... She asked the next person she saw "Go ahead, ask me what the capital is of any state" The person replied "ok, what's the capital of Ohio?" The blonde replied..."Oh, that's easy "O"
A blonde bought herself a vibrator to replace her boyfriend who went out of the country in the military. She didn't like it though, it kept chipping her teeth.
In math class the teacher asked the blonde girl in the front row how many zeroes are there in a million? The blonde started figuring out loud m-i-l-l-i-o-n. One!
This has been my fav blonde joke for a good number of years. Usually the telling is a little more drawn out detail, but this is the gist of it. A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
A man comes home to find his blonde wife reading the newspaper and crying. He asks her, "why are crying dear." In a crying voice she says, "It says three Brazilian men died in a earth quake in South America. How many is in a Brazilian anyway?"
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
Did you hear about the three blondes walking along a beach and they find a genie bottle? They rub it and the Genie pops out. The Genie says "You have three wishes, one wish each" The first blonde says "I want longer blonder hair" *snap* she got it The second blonde says "I want bigger bluer eyes" *snap* she got it The third blonde says "I am sick of being thought of as too smart I want to be dumber!" *snap" he turned her into a man.
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the California Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?" The first blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!" The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?" "Yes! He only has one ear!" The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?" The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?" The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
