I'm not particularly good when it comes to interacting with women, but I thought it would be interesting to have a place where PF members can give dating advice for those who need it, or to just have a place where we can discuss relationships. I'm not much for relationships these days, because after my first girlfriend broke up with me last year, I've decided to quit looking due to fear of rejection. But during the duration of this thread, I hope to learn from you guys.
I don't have much experience with the dating scene to be honest but I find that being up front and truthful with whoever you are dating is good. If you aren't interested in the person tell them up front and politely. I had several guys I went on a few dates with that just stopped responding to my calls and texts but who never just told me, "Hey I'm sorry but I'm just not interested." That would have been nicer than just leaving me hanging and confused. Whenever I wasn't interested in a guy I just told him so, "Hey I had a good time, but I'm sorry I'm just not really interested." When you find someone you do like though it's best just to be yourself. If you get along well things will just fall into place on their own. =)
Uncle Ferd says it always pays to pay `em a compliment... ... somethin' like... ... ya know? fer a fat girl... ... ya don't sweat much.
mutmekep wrote: Rule number 1. Do never ever touch your date unless it is obvious that she wants to be touched. Uncle Ferd says, "Yeah... ... dat's good advice... ... or dey liable to smack ya severely... ... `bout the head an' shoulders.
Ah dating... I don't understand the appeal of going out with someone you barely know but at times I wish I did.
Dating. Wow, I haven't dated anyone since about 06. I'm definitely rusty in that department. It's kind of hard to say be yourself though because all you want to do is be Superman and impress the person you're with.
Beware of the crazy ex............ [video=youtube;SIc2yLdGFOM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIc2yLdGFOM[/video]
Women can sense if you are desparate, if you are, don't bother trying. Approaching women in bars is a nightmare, avoid it. Smile. Ensure you look presentable (you're going to have to maintain this). Study up on body language, so you learn the signs of someone being interested. When "dating", wait for her to make the first physical move. Smile (It'll get you everywherre you're going to go).
What makes the difference to most women can be summed up in a word. CONFIDENCE There is no reason to fear rejection, or relationships. Quite simply put every single relationship you will ever have will fail.....except for the one you are currently in. Treat her as a best friend would, listen carefully, spend time on the little things she will smile about, and never forget that THIS is the only relationship you have.
ok so advice. I'll try not to be too negative. Don't let attraction/passion/not wanting to judge/being positive override warning signs as in what kind of a person you are allowing into your life. Relationships have work for both sides if you find yourself doing it all or not being interested in doing anything then its probably time to move on. As far as rejection goes, sometimes people think their ex is the only person with a credible opinion of who they are so if they go there again, they will be stuck in instant replay. Everyone is different but sometimes people get into the same kind of relationship that isn't good. If you try to understand the segment in your life for what it was for both sides as well as positives and negatives and not as a statement of you and women, you have a better chance of not being in the same kind of relationship again. Be direct about how you feel concerning anything. Better to be rejected for that and sooner the better, than for either side to be in a relationship that they wouldn't be if everything was out in the open. You're young but time is of the essence always.
Confidence. People try too hard most of the time because they have these expectations and you should never go into a relationship thinking this is the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Just remember that you are learning about yourself as well as the people you are dating to find out what you want and what you need and sometimes we have to find those things out the hard way. No relationship is a bad relationship as long as you learn from it. I'd much rather be someone who got dumped than be someone who is stuck in a relationship that isn't right for them. The thing I found out when I was younger is that if I just went out and had fun I tended to have the best luck finding women or I should say they found me. They are more attracted to guys who feel comfortable and confident rather than the guys who try too hard. Also single women have guys talking to them all the time for the most part, I think that’s why they tend to gravitate towards the guys who are not all over them so to speak. They like attention but they love earned attention.
Develop your own particular avocation or passion that includes other men and women. As you pursue your own personal excellence women will notice you and the fact that you are part of a larger group will be more comfortable for you and her. You don't have to be 'top dog' either. Women usually have a network of girlfriends as well and you could get introduced by even an attached female. Good luck!
Rule number 2. Disregard rule number 1. The truth about attraction is something most people can't handle because it's not mainstream. It's not consistent with what's politically correct. Which is why so many guys suck (*)(*)(*)(*) at attracting girls today. Because they're too programmed by PC gender attitudes. Women fall in love through their bodies. Which means the more you touch them, the more they like you. You just have to know how to touch them the right way. And most guys don't. The right way is by leading, being playful, and being bold, decisive, and unapologetic in your actions. You can actually swoop in on a girl you've never met, pick her up, spin her around, and set her down and say, "Who are you?" and if you do it the right way, she will literally melt in your arms. Because nobody has the balls to do that. They're all too worried about when it's "okay" to touch her. You can't rock a girl's world if you're afraid of her. She wants you to be strong and unreactive. It turns her on when she can't faze you. It's a sign of you being centered in your own reality. Which - on an evolutionary level - indicates that you are capable of being a strong protector and provider. And that were she to have children with you, you'd be able to fend off predators and protect them. It's all purely instinctual. It's not conscious. But it's hardwired into us as a species. This is stuff that alpha guys all just do naturally because they're not limited by the same social programming. Because they're indifferent to it. The guys that get stuck in the friend zone are the ones who listen too much to social norms instead of just being free and doing what they want.
Everything you posted is true and once more i didn't phrase my post correctly , it should be: never touch your date on your first date. Women need "personal space" that it is violated when you are touching them, how do i know that? i learnt the hard way.
You actually just made this worse. Never touch your date on your first date? This is great advice if you're looking for a friend who won't view you as a sexual partner. But if you want any kind of romantic future with her, you need to get physical as soon as possible. Like I said, you don't even have to know her to touch her. And the more you touch her the right way, the more natural everything will feel and the less awkward the transition to sex will be. If you make touching her a big deal, then you'll make it a big deal to her too. The key is to just be natural with it. Because it's not a big deal. The longer you hold off on physical contact, the more awkward you make it. This is where most guys get it wrong. They make touching too big of a deal. I'll tweak a girl's nipple within the first 5 minutes of talking to her. Or try to kiss her. If you do this the right way, it's pure magic. Like I said, it's all in how you do it. You have to be fun, playful, and most importantly leading the interaction. You can't be reactive. Just be fun, outgoing, and carefree. Is it safe to assume you've never had a one night stand if you don't touch girls on the first date? You've never met a girl and slept with her the same night?
