It seems to me that if you honestly have no desire or care to enter the contention among men in regards to God, and prefer the security of peace. Then you have chosen the side of God because you love him. Therefore your conclusion that "God is violence, not love", is contrary to your own better judgment and good nature. And God is indeed, love rather than violence. It is Gods adversary who is fallen, whose spirit spurs men to contend. Don't mistake him for God. He is a wannabe God, just as he was in prelude to his fall from grace. He uses every means at his disposal to destroy us and the works of God, because it is God whom he hates, and whose glory he covets.
Or you don't know what you think you know. By your words on this topic, it appears to me that you are conflicted.