Little Fat Bald Dudes

There are little fat bald dudes in every atom. That's right -- they are a googol times smaller than an atom, and their appearance is very similar to George Costanza. These little fat bald dudes are the answer to life, the universe and everything. No, it's not 42.

Who created Earth? Little fat bald dudes.
Who created humanity? Little fat bald dudes.
Who created life? Little fat bald dudes.
Who created the sun? Little fat bald dudes.
Who created everything to the perfect design, sustaining our life in the most complex way? Little fat bald dudes.
Who created little fat bald dudes? Lit... shut up.

They actually created the universe and decide what happens to us all, including what happens to us after we die. That's right, after we die, we don't just die... we go somewhere else. Does your hearing go anywhere when you go deaf? No, don't be silly. Does your sight go anywhere when you go blind? No, again, don't be silly. Does your taste go somewhere when your taste goes away? Enough with the silliness! But the silliest thing of all would be to say that your consciousness doesn't go somewhere when you die! Geez!

Now, when you die, you can go to two places:
A.) You appear in a magical world where everything is la-de-da and just perfect
B.) You are smothered by fat bald dudes for eternity... except they're not little. They're HUGE! Those are the evil fat bald dudes. I don't want to get into the details... it's nasty. You are also constantly burning... it's like a cruel and painful death, but for eternity.

In order to respect little fat bald dudes and ensure that you go to place A, you must follow their rules:
1.) You have no other crazy theories about other types of little fat bald dudes or anything crazy like that
2.) Don't be worshiping anything except little fat bald dudes
3.) You can't say anything that little fat bald dudes may find disrespectful. For example, "Awe, little fat bald dude, I just stubbed my toe."
4.) Remember the day that little fat bald dudes took a breather and dedicate that day to doing nothing but bothering little fat bald dudes by trying to talk to them.
5.) Respect your parents. No, this is not just a scare tactic derived from parents to try to get their kids behaved. This is all real.
6.) Don't murder. You may ask why this is so far below all the other rules, such as how you should worship little fat bald dudes and little fat bald dudes only. That's a good question. A question that deserves an answer.
7.) Don't cheat on your wife, man.
8.) Don't steal.
9.) Don't lie to the cops, telling them your neighbor did something criminal when he really didn't. If it's anyone else, that's cool. Just not your neighbor.
10.) Don't be jealous of your neighbor's stuff or woman. Even if she's a freakin' Playboy model. If you think for one second that she's hot, you're going straight to hell. Jealousy is bad. That's why little fat bald dudes aren't jealous of anything. Except, you know, other little fat bald dudes and you saying anything that might be doubting them, etc.

If you don't follow these rules, you go to place B. Mahatma Gandhi, for example, was one of these people.

All the information above is in a book. A really old book, so it must be true. It was right next to the book on Greek Mythology and Humpty Dumpty. But this book is 100% true. How do I know? It says it right in the freakin' book! Ha.

Yes, in the same book, it says Earth is 6,000 years old.
Yes, in the same book, it says humans started as two and reproduced from there -- not explaining different races.
Yes, in the same book, it says two of every single animal fit into one boat.
But these are all metaphorical. The little fat bald dude stuff is 100% real.

How do I know the book is absolutely correct and all this information is true, despite the fact that other books say otherwise, you ask? Through scientific research? Through logical conclusions? No, you silly goose! It's not me who has to prove to you that little fat bald dudes exist, but you who has to prove to me that they don't exist. No proof, eh? Ha... I thought so.

Question: How does my logic above differ from any other religion?

 

It doesn't differ.

However, someone is going to appeal to popularity.

 

Counterquestion: What has this to do with any religion except an ignorant and agressive form of a[ntichristian]theism?

-----

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. 'Good teacher,' he asked, 'what must I do to inherit eternal life?' 'Why do you call me good?' Jesus answered. 'No-one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: “You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honour your father and mother.”' 'Teacher,' he declared, 'all these I have kept since I was a boy.' Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked round and said to his disciples, 'How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!' The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, 'Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for the rich to enter the kingdom of God.' The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, 'Who then can be saved?' Jesus looked at them and said, 'With human beings this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.' http://youtu.be/YaqQnhBtxaI

 

Replace little fat bald dudes with God and you'll see exactly how it relates (I thought it was really obvious, but apparently not...)

Atheists don't worship little fat bald dudes in atoms or big dudes in the sky. Christians and other religions do -- the logic is the same as my OP. Seeing as you did not answer the question posed in the OP, it seems you do not have an answer; thus, you concur.

I'm not sure how a mythical character saying rich are evil and a boring singer is relevant to anything...

 

No.

http://youtu.be/W22gpBv00gg

 

I call them LFBD's for short.

 

Hmm - sure - whatelse was I expecting? To give up what one doesn't need is always difficult. May I ask why it is important for you to define yourselve to be an enemy of all Christians on our marvellous blue planet earth?

http://youtu.be/xNg2XWMxktM

 

I like that. Thanks

That tap dancing converted me.

But seriously... how is tap dancing relevant to anything -- and again, asking my question from my OP, how is the logic I used to show the existence of LFBD's different from the logic used to show the existence of God?

I'm not an enemy of Christians just as I am not an enemy of people who believe in ghosts, voodoo, or Santa Clause. If adults are willing to come to a website in which its prime aspect is to debate, and then go to the religious forum of that website, I think I have the right to state the obvious -- in this case, that there is as much evidence to back up Christianity as there is to back up the religion of LFBD's (if the hypothetical situation in the OP were true -- that is, there was an old book that said all that). If you're willing to debate your stance and demonstrate to me how I'm wrong, go straight ahead. So far, you've only posted irrelevant YouTube videos and some "you hate Christianity" remarks.

Another irrelevant YouTube video...

 

.... why is it every anti-religion post on these boards are dismissed as being anti-christian?

Isn't it daily obvious the posts are anti-supernatural in general?

 

Because of Cantor.

http://youtu.be/Bd1oA47Ti0I

 

The sad part is you think you're being clever.

 

I know, Seven of Nine told me something about.

 

Do you speak with me?

http://youtu.be/iCI-TZm7sp4

 

Yes, I speak to you.

And I am sad for you because there is no happiness in what you are doing.

George Carlin made a career out of mocking God, but it was easy to see that he was the most miserable man on the planet.

The only real happiness in the world comes from God, and when you mock him you cut yourself off from that.

What's left is bitter dregs. Hollow laughter. Horrible loneliness. Despair.

 

Couldn't I also turn around and saw that I feel sad for you because you require what is essentially an imaginary friend to give your life purpose and meaning?

Are you unable to give you own life purpose and meaning? Life is what you make it. You should need someone telling you what value it has.

 

I would rather believe in God and be wrong, then not believe in him and be right.

Because at the end of my life, I will not regret time wasted loving God (even if he isn't real), loving my neighbor, and obeying God's commandments.

So it is not in vain, even if God is not real, it will not be in vain.

I will die a happy man.

 

I don't have any idea who George Carlin could be - but it sounds a little as if he would be the sister of my son.

Do you like to convince me that your are an atheist who tries to speak nonsense in the name of god? You wan!

http://youtu.be/aRJUXhbFqiw

 

then you cannot mislead another with what you have not witnessed in fact,

i am trying to share something really important; you can Love GOD(s), mary poppins, hare krishna or even little fat bald dudes..... alll you like............

You can use the terms in inquiry

You can love everything in all the universe with a little chant or even begging of the prayers................... but as soon as you state a lie, you are breaking the rules, the commands, the laws of all/any god(s).

No preacher, not teacher, no parent and not even you has the right to lie to another to impose their belief upon another. meaning; YOU expect your preacher/teacher/judge/police/husband/wife/child/neighbor to be honest correct?

well you best be too

these below apply when a person DOES NOT LIE


So it is not in vain, even if God is not real, it will not be in vain.

I will die a happy man.



.

.

 

You could very well be worshiping the wrong god, By mere statistical probability your are (*)(*)(*)(*)ed to hell.

 

Why hasn't anyone answered my question posed in my OP?

 

Because there is no answer to answer with. These threads never go anywhere due to that reason alone.

 

True... that's why I'm hardly in the religious section of the forums. No one ever has a remotely rational argument to back up their religious beliefs. It's like talking to a brick wall.

 

What is your question, enemy mine?

http://youtu.be/Op0C4pMtgio



Fiery Spirit,
fount of courage,
life within life
of all that has being!

Holy are you, transmuting the perfect
into the real.
Holy are you, healing
the mortally stricken.
Holy are you, cleansing
the stench of wounds.

O sacred breath O blazing
love O savor in the breast and balm
flooding the heart with
the fragrance of good,

O limpid mirror of God
who leads wanderers
home and hunts out the lost,

Armor of the heart and hope
of the integral body,
sword-belt of honor:
save those who know bliss!

Guard those the fiend holds
imprisoned,
free those in fetters
whom divine force wishes to save.

O current of power permeating all
in the heights upon the earth and
in all deeps:
you bind and gather
all people together.

Out of you clouds
come streaming, winds
take wing from you, dashing
rain against stone;
and ever-fresh springs
well from you, washing
the evergreen globe.

O teacher of those who know,
a joy to the wise
is the breath of Sophia.

Praise then be yours!
you are the song of praise,
the delight of life,
a hope and a potent honor
granting garlands of light.

 

If you read my OP, you would probably note the bolded text.

 

Before the Law

Before the law sits a gatekeeper. To this gatekeeper comes a man from the country who asks to gain entry into the law. But the gatekeeper says that he cannot grant him entry at the moment. The man thinks about it and then asks if he will be allowed to come in sometime later on. “It is possible,” says the gatekeeper, “but not now.” The gate to the law stands open, as always, and the gatekeeper walks to the side, so the man bends over in order to see through the gate into the inside. When the gatekeeper notices that, he laughs and says: “If it tempts you so much, try going inside in spite of my prohibition. But take note. I am powerful. And I am only the most lowly gatekeeper. But from room to room stand gatekeepers, each more powerful than the other. I cannot endure even one glimpse of the third.” The man from the country has not expected such difficulties: the law should always be accessible for everyone, he thinks, but as he now looks more closely at the gatekeeper in his fur coat, at his large pointed nose and his long, thin, black Tartar’s beard, he decides that it would be better to wait until he gets permission to go inside. The gatekeeper gives him a stool and allows him to sit down at the side in front of the gate. There he sits for days and years. He makes many attempts to be let in, and he wears the gatekeeper out with his requests. The gatekeeper often interrogates him briefly, questioning him about his homeland and many other things, but they are indifferent questions, the kind great men put, and at the end he always tells him once more that he cannot let him inside yet. The man, who has equipped himself with many things for his journey, spends everything, no matter how valuable, to win over the gatekeeper. The latter takes it all but, as he does so, says, “I am taking this only so that you do not think you have failed to do anything.” During the many years the man observes the gatekeeper almost continuously. He forgets the other gatekeepers, and this first one seems to him the only obstacle for entry into the law. He curses the unlucky circumstance, in the first years thoughtlessly and out loud; later, as he grows old, he only mumbles to himself. He becomes childish and, since in the long years studying the gatekeeper he has also come to know the fleas in his fur collar, he even asks the fleas to help him persuade the gatekeeper. Finally his eyesight grows weak, and he does not know whether things are really darker around him or whether his eyes are merely deceiving him. But he recognizes now in the darkness an illumination which breaks inextinguishably out of the gateway to the law. Now he no longer has much time to live. Before his death he gathers in his head all his experiences of the entire time up into one question which he has not yet put to the gatekeeper. He waves to him, since he can no longer lift up his stiffening body. The gatekeeper has to bend way down to him, for the great difference has changed things considerably to the disadvantage of the man. “What do you still want to know now?” asks the gatekeeper. “You are insatiable.” “Everyone strives after the law,” says the man, “so how is it that in these many years no one except me has requested entry?” The gatekeeper sees that the man is already dying and, in order to reach his diminishing sense of hearing, he shouts at him, “Here no one else can gain entry, since this entrance was assigned only to you. I’m going now to close it.”

Franz Kaffka