Smartie's Holiday Bar & Grill #49

Very best wishes for a speedy recovery, OT.

I got two finished today. Who knows what effect they will have when they hit the target. I threw them together and fired them out between other tasks...which is most uncharacteristic but tis the season...

I'm off for 2 weeks from Friday....

 

Merry Christmas y'all.............I'm outta here and if I don't log on before then, I'll see y'all next year!

 

Eastern time, 12 21 2012.

Maybe this is going to happen under Central or Pacific time, but as far as east coast nothing has happened. I feel a little dizzy, but that is from the pina colada.

 

Yup, signs of life everywhere. Yankee's still on the roof dancing. LM is still drinking PCs, Smartie's watching the new smartivee, coffee's on...all is well folks.

 

got an end of the world party tonight , hope we make it lol

 

Oh joy of joys!
I'm allowed back into the BAR again!!!!!!!!!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I was so lonely jus' a sitting on yonder against the outside wall, listening to all the fun y'all having in here.
*sniff, sniff*

But all is redeemed and now I can sit with my buds and get plastered waitin' on the end of the world!

(did I miss it? Did "THE END" already happen? Am I typing this into a vast and black hole?)

 

Who let tresha back in??

 

Lets drink

 

Lucky you!

 

Yep, looks like we survived the end of the world... so far, anyway.

Although seeing the message about the site being taken down for maintenance coulda given me the "I'm comin Elizabeth' big one.

Hope it helps.

How 'bout an eggnog to warm your cockles?



I've officially finished my shopping... right down to buying blackeyed peas to cook for New Years! No more stores for me for awhile... WOO HOO!!!!

I mean HO HO HO!

 

Having trouble getting to page 42.

Okay fixed, so the malls are going to be busy until Sunday... I want to mingle but still a bit fearful after what happened.

 

..."cockles"...meaning what, exactly? Oh, the possibilities.

 

Spent my time up against the outside wall carving my very own self a key from tossed out cardboard coasters and the like.

So, surviving the end o'the world means you've allowed um.....ladies of the evening back into your joint?

Are we zoned for that kind of extra-entertainment?

 

Don't worry LM, driving to and from the mall is still more dangerous.

 

You know....as in "warm the cockles of your heart".
Believe it's the part located right next to the left aorta.

 

You have no idea what I was thinking when I first read that. ***blushes***
Then I had coffee, and its slowly making sense.

 

Well...I've got some idea.
I'm lesbian, but not totally clueless.....
*limps rapidly off!*

 

Lol. for a minute I thought I was the Lesbian....lol

****runs***

 

How does one become a Lesbian.Ya wake up one morn and decide to kiss yer dolls
until ready to get dressed for school.
I had a hard enough time understanding how horny works.So I had to
practice to make sure.
Ya don't practice ya lose the touch.
How does this lesbian thingy work.

 

How does one become a Lesbian.Ya wake up one morn and decide to kiss yer dolls
until ready to get dressed for school.
I had a hard enough time understanding how horny works.So I had to
practice to make sure.
Ya don't practice ya lose the touch.
How does this lesbian thingy work.

 

**Checks Official Recruitment Log/Research Data**

I've checked all my current "Those to be recruited" lists and nope! Don't see you on it.
Maybe next year?
(I could really, really use a new toaster oven)

One has to apply for "Lesbian Initiation Classes", study hard, listen to KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls, exclusively! (I was almost booted out when They caught me listening to Garth Brooks, until I told 'em Garth's sister was/is gay)

There are many, many, many hours of "Ellen" stand ups to watch, her old and new shows to review (and in some cases memorize. We can get quizzed by Them at any given moment on dialogue)

Then there are the courses we have to take in:

Lesbian Haircuts, how to do so much, with so few options

Lesbian Wardrobes: How to make flannel work for you too!

Lesbian Recruiting 201: How to find/seduce and 'turn' your straight friends and especially your guy friends wives, into "our kind of people"

Lesbian (authorized) jobs : auto mechanic, welder, bartender, log cutter upper, things of the nature

The last steps include a somewhat secretive process wherein we are given access to the Official "Lesbian/Gay Agenda" and swear an oath to such.

Then and only then, after all the above has been duly accomplished, one has to be presented before the Lesbian Mafia, (totally separate from the Gay Mafia) and the LM, of course, has final say.

Whew!
Am I glad I don't have to go through all that again!

 

Too much Work.Not interested.I'll just have to pass one bein' a butch.
Of course I don't wanna be a Ken either.
Maybe something in-between.A Clark Gable with a nice coiffure.

 

its worth the work to be a lesbian because they generally have really pretty girlfriends.

 

I've always wished for a pill one could take to make one a lesbian. Woulda prob saved me a lotta heartache from dealing with hairy legged men.

(warning: adult language)

[video=youtube;lhHKGuZTaoY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhHKGuZTaoY[/video]