Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

In Australia, it slows down in the humour and satire department, evidently.

 

It's common for some to confuse ignorant humor for tasteless. It's also common for some to be unable to convert ignorant into tasteless.

 

I’m old and don’t share Nonnie’s sense of humour.

 

Yes possum.

 

Bless his noodly appendages.

 

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Because Ken came in a different box.

 

A Scottish Presbyterian is rescued after many years on a desert island. As he stands on the deck of the rescuing vessel, the captain says to him,
"I thought you were stranded alone. How come I can see three huts on the beach?"
"Well," replies the castaway, "that one there is my house and that one there is where I go to church."
"And the third one?" asks the skipper.
"Oh, that's my old church."

 

A new captain becomes leader of a company of soldiers. As he goes about learning everything on how they do things he finds two soldiers guarding a bench. He asks his sergeants why they're guarding the bench and they say the previous commander ordered it. "
He calls the previous commander up, now a major, asking why he did that and the major said its because the previous commander ordered it. So he calls that commander, now a lt. Colonel asking why he ordered it, gets the same answer that it was ordered by the previous commander. The captain goes through this song and dance a couple more times before he gets a hold of an old retired 4 star General. He politely calls him up and asks him why he ordered his men to guard this bench that all the commanders since then have maintained the tradition. The old retired General goes "wait, is the paint still wet?"

 

What kind of bird becomes fluffy and absorbent if you put tea in front of it?
An owl.

 

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked them.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then," said the lawyer.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children," the second man answered.
"Bring them as well."
They all climbed into the limousine - no easy task - and one of the poor fellows said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
"No problem," said the lawyer, "The grass in my yard is about two feet tall."

 

For shame Sally, FOR SHAME!!!!

{He said while snickering.}

True story Down Under?

 

Nah, dunno if our lawyers are that bad.
Unless, have you heard of an Oz tv series called Rake? He is unbelievable.

 

The only OZ TV show we had was Mr. In-Between.

 

That scarey smile of his!

 

Mostly about religion.

Warning: Quite NSFW, politically incorrect, etc.

 

I lost it after being distracted by Olive and Mabel. Can you give me a title so I can find it again?

 

You're going to burn in hell Nonnie.

 

Jim Norton - My first Bris - this is not happening