Why Most Marriages Are Sexless

I really don't think it's about holding a negative image of partners. Rather it's recognizing in both big ways and small, men and women are vastly different. That clearly has to be taken into account for men in a heterosexual relationship. That sort of "vive la différence" just wouldn't be an issue in same sex relationships.

 

I guess I’d have to take your word for it. Just seems super dysfunctional to me.

 

Heh, it can be!

 

Yes, it does seem like we agree especially when it comes to respecting your companion's right to say "No" no matter how far along you are playing "spank and tickle".

I have no idea how frequently women rape men or how the rape is proven and also, I really have a hard time envisioning how a woman who is usually smaller could overpower a larger man and force him to have sex with her.

Can you give me an idea of how you think a smaller woman would overpower a larger man a larger man and compel him to have sex with her.

Thanks,

 

I don't think it would be that different for them. Everybody has their quirks and preferences that don't perfectly align and it will be that way in almost any relationship. When one person is messy and the other is OCD, some may attribute the messiness to being a man, but really that could happen in same sex couples too. Same for sex drive. I once dated this woman who, somewhat early on, verified with me I would be okay with having sex every day. Apparently, her last relationship didn't do that, and it bothered her. Unfortunately, things didn't work out with her, lol. So there may be tendencies by gender, but they don't always hold true and you could find the same dynamics in same-sex couples, I think.

I think in dating though, early stuff, it would be different for homosexual men with sex. Women really are the usual gatekeepers in when sex starts and when two men are involved, there's going to be less resistance to early sex.

 

I’m sure women raping men is not as frequent as the reverse, but that does not mean it doesn’t happen or is not a problem.

Coercion doesn’t only exist where there are professional power discrepancies or significant age differences (an adult with a minor). Social coercion is a very real factor and is worth taking into consideration. For example:

“If you don’t have sex with me, I will tell people X.”
“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want it.”
“What are you, gay?”

Of course these are all hypotheticals, but they illustrate situations where a woman could compel a man into a sexual situation that they do not consent to. Remember physical resistance is not required for a person to be raped.

 

Are most marriages sexless?

There is interesting data -- Here.

Between early 1990s (1990, 1991, 1993) and late 2010s (2016, 2018 ), the number of marriages which are totally sexless rose from 1% to 4.2%. The number of marriages with sex once a month or less rose from 13% to 27.5%.

In my opinion, any sane man should vote for candidates who support legalizing sex work.

 

~ Marriage has gone non-binary❗️

 

LOL, too true ....and a real ego deflater for some in here...

 

I agree that it's men who want sex more at the start of a relationship, but by the time you are getting married, and definitely few years later, it is more often the woman who wants it more. Men still fantasize about it, but not so much about it with their wives...

 

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