Yogiisms and other humorous quotes

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by reedak, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    1. Yogiism is a "witty remark or aphorism, often in the form of a paradoxical contradiction, tautology or pun".

    It's an "eponym, named after legendary New York Yankee Lawrence Peter 'Yogi' Berra (1925-), who was a baseball manager, outfielder, but is remembered as one of the sports greatest catchers of all time. Berra acquired his nickname 'Yogi' during his childhood. According to the story, Berra and a friend, Bobby Hofman, were watching a movie about an Indian snake charmer who had an unusual walk. 'That yogi walks like Larry Berra,' exclaimed Hofman; and that colourful nickname followed Berra the rest of his life. (It is said that the Hanna-Barbara cartoon character, Yogi Bear created in 1958, was a tribute to the famous baseball player.) When Yogi Berra wasn’t throwing baseballs, he was busy throwing memorable one-liners that have achieved folklore status."

    Yogiism
    http://atkinsbookshelf.wordpress.com/tag/famous-yogi-berra-quotations/

    2. Joe Garagiola said in his foreword to a book: "Fans have labeled Yogi Berra 'Mr. Malaprop,' but I don't think that's accurate. He doesn't use the wrong words. He just puts words together in ways nobody else would ever do."

    Yogi Berra
    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Yogi_Berra

    3. Below are some examples of Yogi Berra's yogiisms:

    You can observe a lot by watching.

    Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

    Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.

    If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

    Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

    Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

    I looked like this when I was young, and I still do.

    If the people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them.

    If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

    If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.

    If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.

    It ain't over 'till it's over.

    I didn't really say everything I said.

    It gets late early out there.

    Never answer an anonymous letter.

    The future ain't what it used to be.

    We have a good time together, even when we're not together.

    [What time is it?] You mean now?
    (He was on a passenger jet at the time, so he was not sure in which time zone he was.)

    4. Yogiisms are commonly regarded as "mangled quotes" or a kind of malapropism characteristic of "Yogi" Berra, American baseball player and manager. It has been pointed out that his funny and witty quotes "don't make sense till you get them".

    Below are five examples of my emulation of yogiisms:

    If you are first, you are second to none.

    The only prediction we can be certain about is no prediction.

    While you are blowing a bubble, don't tell others not to inflate bubbles.

    The only time time can tell you is when it takes a break to speak to you.

    Only time can tell? No, only we can tell time.

    5. Readers are welcome to share their comments or their own original quotes (any kind of witty or humorous quotes but preferably yogiisms) in this thread.

    Yogi Berra
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yogi_Berra

    Yogi Berra
    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Yogi_Berra

    Yogi Berra The Official website
    http://www.yogiberra.com/about.html

    Yogi Berra Quotes
    http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/y/yogi_berra.html
     

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