Dancing and singing with the American Presidential Stars

Huckerbee has announced he does not intend to run as the first guitar-picking presidential candidate in the history of the United States.

Country and Western followers mourn.

Ron Paul girds up his unlovely loins to dance an unlovely dance to an unloved tune he wrote himself: "Surely they must Love me in the Morning". I shudder to think who "they" might be.

Sarah Palin raises her head from her latest book-signing and utters a few notes. Unfortunately they do not make money bein' as they are inspired by her front porch.

Tim Pawlenty gives a squeaky rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic while it, meanwhile, is falling about his ears.

Donald Trump produces an array of Miss Universe contestants to do an act on his behalf. Unfortunately, none of them can sing or dance, so he has to fire them all and warble on about Tim Pawlenty's birth certificate to the strains of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Paul Ryan has been yanked by the kite he is flying into the stratosphere and is nowhere to be seen.

Mitt Romney is still trying to recover from being a Massachusetts Democrat - to the strains of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. He has employed Karl Rove to help him dance to a radically different version of it and is now carrying a rifle. Which he thinks fondly is loaded.

Meanwhile the NRA is funding any Republican candidate willing to carry a concealed weapon. It is on a mission made hopeless by their innate inability to understand who it is they are supposed to shoot.

 

Which Republican nonentity do you prefer?

 

Hmmm, they're all so appealing.

 

OK. So there are no American prezzy stars. Why did I not know that? Why was I not told?

 

Awryly,

for someone who professes to hate America so much...you sure do spend a lot of time obsessing over it.

tell you what, when the US elects it's next President, we'll be sure to let New Zealand know who's the new leader of the entire World.

 

Since the OP there have been a number of startling developments in the Dance Macabre minced about by ever loonier aspirants to the title of "Mr/Ms/Mrs Also-ran 2012".

Michelle Bachmann has demonstrated what everyone knew she could: raising platitudinosity to a level achieved only in Disneyland. Rumours have it she once performed there as the operator of the Big Wheel.

We now have another Mormon racing. But both Romney and Huntsman appear not to have read, or understood, polls that put the loveliness of Mormons as prezzy candidates only marginally ahead of gays, lesbians and atheists.

Gingrich has self-imploded to the extent that he is now only supported by his daughter and, reluctantly, by his wife. Even his organ-grinder has deserted him.

On the downside, we now have the prospect of a Texas governor whose talents have ground his state into the dust throwing his hat into the national rodeo - where his talents will hardly be noticed, let alone needed.

 

How's this going?

Any more fundamental idiots emerged from the woodwork?

 

Arnold the Pig could be the next GOP candidate.

 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbk81X6WHA4"]YouTube - ‪1966 opening theme to Green Acres tv show‬‏[/ame]

 

Was wondering,
Do you play with bounders or just hunt them after dark?
Is your Bush much like Australia's?
The last time I was in the company of a New Zealander I was in Perth. We were having a beer at a pub by the Ocean. He was drunk and slapped me upside the face. I then tossed my beer in his face, kicked him in the balls and beat the livin sh*t out of him. He was a nice fella when I was through with him.

 

Apparently you have never met a real New Zealander.



If you had, you would be speaking only in consonants.

Like the Welsh.

 

Hmmm, now that you mention it ...

 

Don't see how this should be relevant to a New Zealander.

 

Now we have a messiah running for prezzy. Apparently she has had a revelation from some deity or other that she is on a divine mission.

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/politics/main250.shtml

Huntsman and Romney should check with their hats. They may not be doing God's will in view of Bachmann's divine assurance that she is the Chosen One.

 

You fight like a girl!!!

 

Anyone left?

Apart from the Mormons?

 

Poorlenty apparently thinks Bachmann gets too many headaches to be useful in the Oval Office. Where one is expected to be up for it at a moment's notice.

But maybe she would make a half-decent intern for a Dem prezzy who was undemanding?

 

Are we soon to see Rick Perry coming into the race on the wing of a prayer...

...from the Old Testament?

 

Why not? At least she's funny.

Israel could use her. America doesn't have a sense of humour.

 

..like a limp rag.

These days, of course, Romney takes the Tea Party stance that there should be no tax increases in order to reverse the nation's ratings downgrade.

 

Palin - equally dumb, equally monorail - but with scarier eyes.

 

It seems the male version of Michelle Bachmann is gaining traction with Republicans.

The drawling, brawling Christian from Texas has leapt into the GOP lead.

Perry may be leading the Republican band but he is unlikely to play a tune the independents will want to hear, let alone sing along with.

Obama by a country mile.

 

Order your Android talking doll today:



http://www.hemmy.net/images/gadget/repliee.jpg

Please specify which American politician you wish to have replicated before ordering, as Japanese model is prototype and must be modified first in Chinese factory. Voice track and programing is extra. Required download of current talking points is available upon request. Limit 2 models per Republican , or 1 model per Democrat (Democrat androids take longer to program, and have variable talking points which require monitoring by our technicians and routine reprogramming.)

Currently, we are working on a Libertarian model, based loosely on the Ron Paul prototype.

 

I think you are mistaken. The Chinese are not interested in turning out android US politicians. These robots invent and weaponise themselves. The Chinese have, however, been highly successful in turning out android American voters.

 

I see Palin is about to make "a major political address" somewhere in Iowa.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20101115-503544.html?tag=cbsnewsLeadStoriesAreaMain

Now, leaving aside the small matter of Palin's inability to speak in full sentences, and constant prattling about "small government" and the "great American people", I assume her audience will consist of one lost bear and a few deer with nothing better to do.

However, not deterred (and probably not noticing), I gather Palin will conduct a book signing.