Smartie's Bar & Grill #54

Proof?

If it feels good, do it?

Life's too short to do without?

Don't put Miss on my headstone cuz I ain't missed a damn thing?

 

Whatever. Live and let Live for tomorrow is just another tomorrow and tomorrow and
Today.One of these Days,Today and Tomorrow will seem so like yesterday that
even Mother Nature will have herself a hissy fit.

 

The alternative? We turn into Barbie, the Cat Lady.

 

Is there any coffee left? (yawn, stretch).....My alarm clock slept in.

 

Coffee? Sorry, darlin... its lunchtime here.

I have some leftover grounds you can chew.

 

OK...I'll have a beer then. Got any bacon?

 

Always got bacon. Lemme just rip you off a piece from supper.

 

I don't like turkey....WAIT!! ZZZAT BACON? Gimme the drumstick!!

 

You know what they say... if one strip is good, 50 strips oughta be great!!

I need a drink.

 

You certainly will after 50 strips...

 

I'll never forget what this Old Timer once said.He worked as the night watchman
at my grandma's trucking company.When I came in to start my shift as dispatcher,
he was leaving.Heading out.He usually said he'd be heading to his favorite
bar for a shot and a beer.Saying that as he lit up a cig { smoked Non-filter Pall Mall }
He had a routine for whenever he went to the doctor.He was in his early 80's.
He'd tell the Doc ... " Why stop smoking.If the first 50 years of smoking didn't kill me,
why worry about the second 50."

 

Happy humpday, y'all. Up and at 'em.

 

Dumb Dora was so dumb that she did something smart yesterday.
What was it that Dumb Dora done yesterday.?
I mean ... did.

 

What Dumb Dora did yesterday involved being in the Kitchen.

 

She won the lottery?

I give up.

 

No,actually one can win the lottery in their car or even a phone booth.
Dumb Dora was so smart yesterday she decided to get rid of all her old
Tupperware.She's had her Tupperware since inheriting it back years ago.
The original Tupperware that was adversitsed with it's " burping seal " feature.
A famous aspect of Tupperware.
Dora decided enough was enough.The neighbors were starting to talk.
As neighbor after neigtbor was heard to say at local functions about Dora.
Oh that Dora and all that burping.I can't even go to visit her w/o hearing that
infernal burping noise.What in the world kind of diet is Dora On.
Dora was finally told by her next door neighbor about all that burping noise
and decided after a good nap yesterday to change her ways.
That Tupperware had to go.
Plus that Tupperware also made her leftover chicken dishes taste rubbery.
As Dora is now content to be less dumb.And more smarter.

 

Tupperware is still around, Foolie. Tell Dora, OK?

 

Good mornin'!! Wait...never mind.

 

LOL, 20 min til quittin time here. Good morning my left hind foot.

 

Hey out here on the left coast morning is a state of mind.

 

Good morning... time for everybody who's not on the left coast to get the hell up.

*yawn*

 

Dumb Dora was SO dumb that she decided to do something about
it.What did she do. ?

 

She aborted Tiny Tim and lived happily ever after?

 

That would take too long.Therefore Dumb Dora decided on another course of action.
She decided to become a he and that-a-way who would be the Wiser.
She could still be the same Dumb Dora only no one would recognize her.
I mean ... Him. Well whatever.
Butt if it works,thought Dora,why not try it.
The problem would be to conjure of a suitable name,however.
Therefore Dumb Dora's next smart project was to find a suitable name for
himself.I think the gals down to the local Coiffures liked that hunk dude who
just moved in with the name ... Danny.The one who seemed kinda Dumb but Oh was he
cute.

 

I dunno, foolie. Sounds like a made up story to me.