Wedding Etiquette and Gift-Giving

then get them a card, or a smaller thoughtful gift. Society is held together by traditions, this isn't the worse you will face in your life.

 

aww, you poor thing...the whole world won't change to suit you? What a hard row you have set yourself...because the world won't...EVER...it is the tradition in our society (heck in ANY society that I know of) to give gifts to people getting married. Heck you are expected to bring a gift if you are invited just to dinner at someone's house.

Your mother has seriously failed you if you are old enough to be out by yourself and still don't understand the basic etiquette of the society you have been born into.

 

I'll give them a gift but I object to the idea of having to spend some minimum amount of money.

 

I'm afraid you are wrong. I have zero interest in being bossed around by my wife or my girlfriend and will never tolerate a relationship like that.

 

Close enough for them to send me a formal invitation to their wedding.

 

I'm totally fine with getting them something like a card but others feel there is a minimum amount of money that you must spend in order not to be considered some kind of cheapskate lowlife and I object to that.

 

I am not talking about giving A gift, I'm talking about shelling out a minimum of $100 in order to justify my presence at a wedding I was INVITED to.

 

dude, the bride and her mother have been planning her wedding since she was 6 years old. if you think you're just going to sweep in and dictate anything, you're going to be very lonely.

 

next bubble to burst-getting a wedding invitation can mean as little as they had your address and the bride or groom had your name and current address, needed a warm body to round out the guest list on their side and they think you'll show up. are these people co-workers, friends, old classmates you've kept in contact with...extended family?

if you find that you need to prioritize, start with the ones you spoke to last. Xs go to the end of the list.

 

i objected to Selective Service, but i still registered when they tracked me down in boot camp.

 

I agree. If this is what the couple expects of their guests, then they're selfish....

Take a wedding gift you can afford and if the married couple are good friends, the cost of the gift won't matter to them, it would be you being there.....

 

Buy a $3.00 dollar card at Wal-Mart.
Sign the card, best wishes and all that jazz...
Enjoy the blender/toaster.

Switch your signed card on a gift box, that looks about the size and weight of a blender/toaster, when no one is looking.

Done deal.

 

I'm not trying to dictate anything; I simply refuse to be dictated to; I would rather never get married then be with someone who thinks they can boss me around.

 

That is incredibly rude and boorish behavior and I can assure you that none of my hosts are trying to do that to me. They want me to attend, and I want to attend; the problem is not the hosts per se but this unspoken social obligation that has manifested out of nowhere from the wedding ether.

They're close and I will attend their weddings and will probably succumb to this social convention. I am just offended by the custom.

It's not like that. I'm going and will be a good little boy but I will try to undermine this custom in general now that I have learned of it.

 

Thank you. That is exactly my sentiment. You're such a classy gal!

 

they will. most are so good, you'll never notice.

 

bully for you, have fun...if you're not already seeing someone-weddings make for lousy first dates.

 

Weddings are ridiculous. You have the engagement party, the bridal shower, and then the wedding gift. Forget it if your in the wedding party it just becomes an endless money pit till the send off of two soon to be divorcees after the reception.

I would say for the wedding gift at least a $100.00 is expected. Just keep in mind if your budget is tight that you will have had the meal, drinks, and a grand time before anyone takes note and it would be highly rude of the couple to mention anything about your missing contribution.

I have been to weddings that went against the grain and suggested if you absolutely felt it necessary to give something, to donate to the a charity of their preference. I like that, a wedding should be about coming to celebrate a couples love for one another, and not cashing in on gifts and spending an absurd amount of money on a party.

 

Not all women are a stereotype. The amount of times I have envisioned my wedding is .. zero.

 

The bride and groom should inform you, usually in the invitation, of their gift registery. They will select gifts from one or more stores, and it is up to you to decide how much you can afford. Most bride and groom's will try to pick many gifts of various prices, and the lower priced ones usually get filled first.

I would do what I could to both get a gift from the list on their registery, and also a cash gift in the card. They probably will spend $100 per person for the caterers. Set some money aside or try to go without something if it doesn't fit in your budget.

The gift and cash are not manditory. If they are your good friends, they will want you there regardless of your ability to contribute. But you will be well remembered and regarded if you do. Remember, this is a young couple just starting out, and they could probably use the help.

 

you're a woman? sorry. i hadn't noticed.

 

Buy whatever you can afford - if they won't accept that you're out of work and can't afford $100 on a gift for 3 different weddings, that's their problem - if all they care about is the price of the gift they're just superficial anyway, so no skin of your nose.

 

Anyone who feels they should get any gift because they got married are (*)(*)(*)(*)ing losers. Go buy your own (*)(*)(*)(*) if you want something for your wedding.

 

If it's a young couple marrying for the 1st time, I can see where they could use a helping hand in being given household stuff, but I've seen some going down the altar for the 2nd, 3rd time - she should have enuf goodies from her previous bridal showers/wedding receptions.......

Attending a friend's wedding should not put a financial strain on any guests. Doing that to your friends is tacky and greedy.....

 

Probably because my posts are filled with logic and reason. Appreciate the condolences, but there are some advantages to it like getting your way all the time and having everything handed to you for free without even asking for it.

In seriousness though, for every generalization there are those that don't fit it. Not all women are wedding crazy.