Paddling unruly kids is good therapy

If people think smacking is so effective, why restrict it to children? It teachers can smack misbehaving kids, surely head-teachers should be allowed to smack misbehaving teachers.

 

Um, no, it's the people who were spanked who are going to turn out to be the violent criminals in society, since their parents failed to teach them that violence is wrong.

Spanking builds psychological trauma in kids. If you are spanking kids, the kids should be taken away from you while you go to prison.

 

Yeah, I kinda pity these old fossils and their severely screwed-up view of the world. I really hope they don't have any kids though...

 

Although that is a favorite claim of the anti-spanking crowd, there isn't any good research to support it. The only research that does support that idea at all failed to separate disciplinary spanking and violent beatings and still only determined a slight correlation between such and violent behaviors.

 

For the kids or for the parents/teachers?

 

Leadership.

 

I never whupped either of my sons and they turned out to have more self-discipline than I ever did.

 

I never once struck my children in anger nor in any disciplinary mode. Now they are all grown up and you know what? They both turned out ok; both are hardworking productive citizens of our great country. So I guess my wife and I made the right decision when it came to discipline.

 

Paddling unruly kids is good therapy

Amen to that.

 

LOL, no I'm not going to do that - what I am going to do is say that I experienced other forms of discipline, both at home, and at the boarding school where I have spent the last twelve years. I had a nanny, who was forbidden to strike me, when I was young, and my school did not practice corporal punishment. I do not recall if anyone grabbed my arm, or gave me a pat on the bottom, when I was a toddler - I imagine Nanny did, to get my attention. But that is not what anyone sane would describe as a 'spanking'.

Detention at school, and being 'grounded' (confined to my room, without my favourite toys,) was the punishment of choice for those who had control over me. And believe me, it was not without effect. Boredom is one of the worst psychological tortures one can inflict upon an active child. In addition to which, I had a particularly affectionate relationship with my late father, and one of the threats most effectively employed by Nanny when I was a small child, was "If you don't stop that immediately, I shall have to tell Sir William ..." It worked every time.

And I say this with a modicum of respect, (because I agree with much you write on other topics,) but I am not overly concerned that you do not believe my 'little tale'. Can you think of a possible motive for anyone lying about so inconsequential a thing? Suffice to say, my particular upbringing, for all the lack of physical discipline, precludes me from gratuitously calling a stranger on a discussion board a 'liar', without a shred of evidence as to his veracity and character.

You may care to reconsider your accusation.

 

Not enough and you know it.

I find it quite amusing how you parents who claim to have never physically disciplined your children can sit here and claim they are model citizens.

I have to ask how much rittalin were they on for you to accomplish this?

Because there's not ONE parent I ever met that had it that easy raising their kids. they get challenged in every way and verbal discipline is just not enough, sorry if you disagree. but a parent that "pops" a child on the buns in the grocery store for climbing on the shelves get my respect faster than one that allows the kid to keep climbing.

Now I know who the parents of those wild children at the malls that run off from their parents, climb all over the banisters and act a fool come from.

a spanked child doesn't act like that. they know better. it's been proven. studies show that spanking, paddling works. if it didn't we would've never tried it as a country.

It wasn't until some childish parent who had no dicispine of their own that wanted paddling banned.

 

Is it any wonder that they used to stone disobedient children Kids do need discipline, and you seem to be onto something important here: Parents who think they don't are oblivious to bad behavior on the part of their own children, e.g. with them climbing around on store shelves or whatever. They simply refuse to see the problem, and then think and say that all is swell instead.

 

I knew I wasn't the only one with logic in here. thanks.

Just the other day this kid was at PetSmart pulling dog food bags off the shelves and his mom was just jogging behind him "honey no....stop that..honey no..."...I wanted to tell her so bad Lady if you don't grab that little hellian by his neck and put a belt on him I will. but the lady would just say I was harrassing her or something stupid like that .

Parents have dropped the paddle(ball)

 

It worked for more folks from my generation than subsequent generations. Back in those days, the school had the right and I must admit, classrooms were run fair,generally, as compared to today where cops now patrol the hallways. You never saw a cop at school unless someone had gone totally off the reservation. Mom and pop, worked together with the schools, and rest assured, if you needed a whopping (you really had to have something really nasty), you probably got it twice. Just the threat of it kept all of my brothers and sisters out of jail. We understood what it was all about. Abuse? Using a child as a ashtray to put your smoke out, now that's abuse. Targeting children for sexual gratification is abusive. (personal levels of hatred duly noted) All of these things are done by sick people who hurt defenseless babies in some cases. But what I'm cheering is the use of corporal punishment as a deterent. I've had my butt busted enough times to drive home the real important issues: be polite, don't be a pushover, give a hand, leave something constructive behind, be kind instead of rude, and always remember your manners. There were the things NOT TO DO that always had a different result. It was dealt with equally.
A realist knows that if you swat your child on the behind, you're gonna leave a mark. You don't have to whip them, just get their attention.
You give them soap to chew on for talking rudely, wont even make them sick. That worked better on me than any spanking.

 

You make some valid points, but my experience has been different from yours. I have had the necessity of all the virtues you mention impressed upon me, and am generally regarded as ' a nice, and polite young man' by the older generation. Yet I have not been spanked or beaten in any way.

I know this is difficult to discuss on the personal level (perhaps too subjective,) but I only know the details of my own upbringing.

Unenforced respect for those who teach you is essential for the lessons to sink in, even from an early age. I do not believe that respect is enhanced by those persons inflicting pain upon you. I have only just left an all-boys, boarding school, and I can assure you that we were no angels, but the concept of the police patrolling the school grounds, let alone the corridors, would not have occurred to either the masters or the boys. And yet the school was forbidden to practice corporal punishment. A few of our masters lacked the social skills necessary for dealing with boys (especially teens) but most were pretty decent, and commanded respect by means of their methods, and attempts at understanding us.

So beating children, and having them afraid of you, is not the only way to bring children up with acceptable behaviour patterns and a moral compass. But bear in mind, that I use the term beating in relation to things like spanking, and hitting with something. A single sharp pat on the clothed behind of a toddler to get his attention may be often necessary, and cannot be regarded as beating by any sane person. As often as not, an equally sharp "No!" will achieve much the same effect.

 

This is very true. My mother told me that she didn't even have to hit me when I was a small child. She could just pick me up, hit her hand and act like she was hitting me. I would scream like I was being killed.

Spanking can be an effective punishment without actually striking the child.

 

hahaha...so true.

I remember the soap in the mouth punishment. and my mom always used Irish Spring and it was GROSS!!

 

She lied to you so you wouldn't grow up today and press bogus charges on her for abuse.

 

I don't buy this^...You mean to say you've never had to be spanked? I find that soooo hard to believe.

But You want your child afraid of you, if not, they will attack you when they get older and not respect your authority.

I bet right now, you disrespect your parents in ways you may not deem disrespectful. simple things like talking back, or cutting them off in conversation, these are minor things but also show the respect level a child has with their parents.

 

Sorry, but I don't know that.

I don't know what you mean by a model citizen, but neither of my boys has ever been in trouble with their schools or the law. Both have 4-year degrees, making good livings, and paying their taxes.

Not a single milligram.

Nobody said raising kids is easy, but you don't have to 'pop' a kid to get him to stop climbing shelves.

Lack of 'leadership'. My kids never hung out at malls. They were too busy with soccer and baseball and music.

There are just as many studies (if not more) that show paddling CAUSES resentment and rebellion. Just what you want in a kid, eh?

I've known many parents who were strict disciplinarians who didn't resort to paddling. Kids don't like paddling, but they know they got to you when you lose it.

 

I don't know why you think I should lie about this. I am making no claims of having been a virtuous child, I am simply saying my parents didn't believe in corporal punishment, and neither did my school. I did receive lots of punishments, but not beatings.

When I marry and have children, the last thing I want is for my child to be afraid of me. I was never afraid of my dad (or my mum) in the physical sense, but I did fear disappointing them. Of course I was selfish, and willful, like most children, but they managed to control me without resorting to physical violence. Which is exactly what I will do with my children.

Does it not occur to you that you are being a little bit presumptuous in saying that? First off, I am 18, and not a child, and secondly, I have been brought up to understand that cutting anyone off in the midst of conversation, is totally unacceptable. I have yet to see the man who can 'talk back' to my mum - I am certainly not he. You do not mess with 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' and get away unscathed.

But seriously, I respect my mother a great deal - and why should I not? My dad died while I was little, but she has provided everything I could have needed, including an education at the oldest, most respected, and most expensive Public School in the UK. My father left her comfortable, but I am sure she has had to go without things to provide for my education. So, while I do not agree with her views on many things (we are of different generations,) I would never be rude to her. So I regret to say that your surmise is not accurate in this case.

 

so what other forms of punishment did you have to endure if not physical? Are you saying you were mentally punished? that's called mental abuse. were you indeed mentally abused as a child and didn't know it?

If that's what you hope for, then you better also hope that your child never raises up and hits you, effectively making you afraid of them.

What do you mean by that? sounds like you got 'touched' by the wrath of mummzy after all.

 

Awesome anecdote. It sounds like the main thing is humiliating the brats, teaching them to respect authority. It may not be necessary for every kid, but it seems to be for a lot of them. It's hard to accomplish that now with these new agey techniques.

 

Discipline is outlawed now.

 

Being confined to my room without my favourite toys - detention at school - being grounded as a teen - that sort of thing, which is a very effective deterrent. You may or may not consider that mental abuse - few people do.

In what sort of society do you live? Children hitting their parents!!! Has it occurred to you that someone who has been brought up without violence is unlikely to resort to violence - especially against his parents?

And on the practical side - my dad was a professional military man. If he were alive today, he would be in his forties and very fit - there is no way he would fear a weed like me. Quite apart from the fact that I hero-worshipped him, and we had a very close father-son relationship, what on earth would make me want to fight him?

LOL, I love your use of the gently mocking British term 'mumsy' (even though you mispelt it).

What on earth gave you the idea that, over the space of 18 years, I never did anything to merit the displeasure of my mother (or my nanny, for that matter)? I was quite headstrong as a young child, and seldom considered the consequences of my impulses - so being lectured and/or told off was not a totally infrequent experience.

I fear you are mixing up not being physically disciplined, with an abnormal childhood. I was as good or as bad as any other kid of my age - and I was rewarded or punished accordingly.