What Men Want

Discussion in 'Women's Rights' started by impermanence, Jan 7, 2023.

  1. impermanence

    impermanence Well-Known Member

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    A few months ago I was taking a walk with my adult daughter and we happened to pass a group of seriously obese people. We kind of looked at each other and began a conversation about the problem of excessive weight as a health issue in this country [I am a physician].

    After updating her on the incredibly dire statistics vis a vis obesity-related morbidity/mortality, she went on to tell me the following. As my daughter has always fought a little extra weight herself [as many women have], she told me how glad she was that guys no longer expect nor desire women to be in really good shape anymore, and that men now understand the importance of food and its enjoyment.

    Well, I figured that it was best to keep my opinions to myself but I wanted to put this out there because I couldn't have disagreed with her more. As far as I have been able to ascertain, the appearance of a woman is quite important to almost all men [just as it must be (although not quite as important) to women].

    Being in good physical condition [within the healthy weight range for specific height/body type] is not just a sign of good health but of many other attributes, as well, e.g., priorities, determination, commitment, to name a few. It should be well understood that staying healthy is a lifestyle choice [for most people] and one that pays serious dividends throughout one's life. And after all, doesn't everybody want to be with another who takes good care of their health?

    Just as women ideally would like a mate who is all that, so do men...why wouldn't they? Now this doesn't mean that you get all that, but I am curious to hear from women on whether most believe this to be true [what my daughter suggested]. I would also like to hear from guys, as well. Is appearance less of a concern than what it used to be?
     
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  2. Lil Mike

    Lil Mike Well-Known Member

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    I'm not really in the age group to have a new, updated opinion (late boomer) but if I were to guess I would say that no, men have not changed, and they still prefer thin, attractive women. I simply think that many overweight women may not either notice this or simply prefer to view it as chubby is the new thin, because the truth is, chubby gals are still getting laid, and thanks to dating apps, they can get laid a lot. That doesn't mean that guys prefer chubby chicks, simply that they are readily available.

    This is not in any way directed towards or about your daughter. I don't know her or her situation; I'm merely speaking generally.
     
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  3. GrayMan

    GrayMan Well-Known Member

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    Thin is gross and unhealthy. Fit is the new thing. Yes, a little bit of fat is normal and healthy too.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2023
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  4. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    Being a physician, you probably have a more reasonable idea of what obesity is. Part of the problem today is that too many people are willing to put larger women, say like Meghan Trainor, as being obese. Further even at larger sizes such people can still be healthy. Such size is not always due to unhealthy behaviors and eating habits.

    I think your daughter has it right on the nose, although not with the best wording. Men are no longer isolating themselves to the "ideal" Barbie like shape and size. And it's true that we overall are better realizing the benefits of food enjoyment. Of course like anything it can be over done, but we are, overall, getting over the idea that ever having certain foods should bring feelings of guilt or worries of weight. Hell for that matter, weight should NEVER be brought up as an issue. Especially when we take into account that muscle weights more than fat.

    I will agree that for the most part, people don't want a mate who will let themselves go and create health issues for themselves. But we also more recognize today that not everything is due to lifestyle choices and are willing to overlook the body if it is beyond their control, as long as the personality and other factors are in alignment. Me personally, I prefer larger bodied women, and both my wives fit in that range.
     
  5. kazenatsu

    kazenatsu Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I suspect this has more to do with a recent phenomena called the "Fat acceptance movement" (an offshoot of the "Body positivity movement"). It's basically kind of a branch of feminism that says if a woman is fat and people find that to be unattractive, the problem is the other people, not the woman being fat.

    In my opinion, this movement has been taken way too far and is going to lead to a generation of devastated women who will have let their bodies go to pot. Lots of women are going to end up in bad shape and going to end up alone or unwanted (or many white women will end up with black dude because that's the only one who will want to be with them).
     
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  6. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I would argue that they don't prefer thin women it seems like they prefer curvy women.

    People seem to want to believe curvy means obese but that's not what it means.

    Women like Kim Kardashian forgive me that's the only one I can think of I'm not attracted to women.

    Thin women tend to look more like boys I don't think I'm in care for that you said you're a late Boomer so kind of in that twiggy era where all the models decided to be really skinny because gay men they prefer women that look like boys.
     
  7. Lil Mike

    Lil Mike Well-Known Member

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    No, I think you are talking about something else. I, and most dudes I know (although not all) do NOT prefer 'Twiggy' type boyish thin girls. We do prefer curves, but there is a difference between curves and obese. However 'curvey' is what obese women tend to call themselves.
     
  8. Death

    Death Well-Known Member

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    The thread presents an opening to express one's subjective views of what female body type "men" prefer.

    Thanks but I pass on this group jerk proposal.

    I do though share this image with you of Mr. and Mrs. Ted Cruz.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. FreshAir

    FreshAir Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I do not care what people prefer, buety is in the eye of the beholder

    but
    attacking someone for being overweight is wrong
    attacking someone for losing weight is wrong
    attacking someone for being skinny is wrong
    etc...
     
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  10. impermanence

    impermanence Well-Known Member

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    There were actually two points to be made here. The first is the tremendous problem with obesity in the health care system. The second was the idea that since eating has become the national pastime, women seem to have rationalized the inevitable excessive weight outcome.

    As far as what men like in women, it should be obvious. It's all over the internet. Twiggy was an ultra trendy fashion model, never a sex symbol. Rachel Welch was the the sex symbol of that day [quite a different profile]. As getting in shape became more popular, it seems like the ideal woman morphed into a one with near perfect proportion and toned [the yoga babe]. A nice smile always helps. Excess weight was never part of the program.
     
  11. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Curvy isn't obese. When I hear that term I think of the hour class shape.
     
  12. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Do you think of this guy could get a more attractive women he would?
     
  13. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    Your physical appearance takes a back seat to what you are inside.

    I would rather have a mousy and relatively unattractive woman than a 10 it was nothing more than a egotistical and narcissistic self-obsessed and self-absorbed individual.
     
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  14. Lil Mike

    Lil Mike Well-Known Member

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    Right, but obese women also call themselves curvy.
     
  15. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    That's because obese sounds bad. But it's a lie.
     
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  16. Jolly Penguin

    Jolly Penguin Well-Known Member

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    I have noticed that there is little or no such fat acceptance movement for men. It does appear to be a gendered thing.
     
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  17. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'll take a fatty whose comfortable in her own skin over a fit girl with self identity and emotional security issues any day. But also I measure fitness by ability, not appearance. Can she haul that belly on a long hike in the woods? If she can, she's more 'fit' by my standards than many women who just look it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2023
  18. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    There is also little fat shaming among men, especially in comparison to what happen to women.
     
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  19. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    Muscle and fitness are not always as we stereotypically think of them. Look at Sumo Wrestlers. They are very fit people and that is a LOT of muscle on those bodies.
     
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  20. Jolly Penguin

    Jolly Penguin Well-Known Member

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    There is plenty of ribbing against fat men, especially by women.

    There is also less fat shaming by men towards women than by women towards women.
     
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  21. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the last part, but have to note that there is a perception of the opposite that is prominent.
     
  22. impermanence

    impermanence Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately, no females chimed in on this one. I know it's a very sensitive issue with [most] women but it would be nice to know how they feel about it.

    Having been with several very nice looking women over the years, I agree that [like in all things] balance is probably the best bet. Although it was nice to be with a beautiful woman, there's LOTS of baggage that comes along for the ride, so once the novelty wears off, you have to deal with all the other stuff [VERY high maintenance costs (best to get an extended warranty :), lots of unwanted attention, and all the rest.

    One of the few regrets I have in life is that after I was divorced [I am remarried], I met an incredibly nice woman who was about 15 pounds overweight and I just couldn't get over that. I've always liked slender women [as I am on the thin side myself] and although she was probably a great match for me, I just couldn't go there. I guess we like what we like for whatever the reasons.
     
  23. LiveUninhibited

    LiveUninhibited Well-Known Member

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    Baggage comes with all people, but as long as there's enough attraction other things tend to outweigh it. I know what you mean though - my first wife was a really good fit for me personality-wise, and I was always told "looks don't matter," but ultimately, I couldn't get over that that I had no special attraction towards her (she wasn't ugly. Fortunately, I didn't have kids with her.

    As to the OP... I think it might be more about women's perceptions than men's. Men's taste has varied but does tend towards slightly slim but curvy (not fat). Anorexic supermodels were never the ideal to the average actual man, but some women have thought they were, and perhaps that perception is decreasing.

    I just remember in college thinking of how I'd see women everyday who were hotter than supermodels
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2023
  24. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    While this may be true for modern times (for now), it has not always been the case. In history, there have been many periods where larger meant more prosperous, or, in the case of women, able to bear large numbers of children. These were the attractive features back then. Of course there are always other factors such as power or other desired things.
     
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  25. Esau

    Esau Well-Known Member

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    Beauty in the eye of the beholder is what ugly ppl say.

    Beauty is standard, it's symmetry, health and in some cases exoticism (rarity). Any thing else is fetishism
     

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