Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

7 dwarves went to meet the pope. "Go on Dopey, ask" chanted the other 6. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there nuns in Alaska?"

"Yes" said the pope.

"Go on Dopey, ask him" urged the other 6 dwarves. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there black nuns in Alaska?".

"Yes there are" said the pope.

"Go on Dopey, ask him" said the others. Dopey blushed and asked "Sir, are there midget nuns in Alaska?"

"No, i don't think so" said the pope.

All 6 of the other dwarves leapt up shouting "Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"

 

Down under too? I was in a bar in the US, college town with a lot of foreign students and this nice looking lass told a guy to keep his pecker up. He looked at her with shock on his face. Before he could ask if that was an offer I jumped in and explained the language breakdown.

 

But did you tell the Sheila she was axing for his stiffy?

 

A classic ...

The Wayside Chapel

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparations for the move. When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occured to her that she had not seen a Water Closet (toilet) around the place. She immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there was a "W.C." near the room.

The schoolmaster was a poor master of english so he asked the parish priest about the meaning of the letters "W.C." and the only solution they could come up with for the letters was "Wayside Chapel". The schoolmaster then wrote the following note to the English lady seeking a "W.C." with her room.

Dear Madam: I take great comfort in informing you that a "W.C." is situated nine miles from the house in the corner of a beautiful grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people, and it is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great many people expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early, although there is usually plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation, particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good many bring their lunch and make a day of it, while others, who can't afford to go by car, arrive just in time. I would especially advise your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompaniest. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heared everywhere. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the "W.C." and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually reserved for one, and it was wonderful to see the expression on their faces.

The newest attraction is a bell, donated by a wealthy resident of the district, which rings every time a person enters. A Bazaar is to be held to raise money for plush seats for all, since the people believe it is a long felt want. My wife is rather delicate so she can't go regularly: it is almost a year since she went last. Naturally it pains her not to be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children there is a special time so that they will not disturb the elders.

Hoping to have been of some service to you, I remain,

Sincerely, The Schoolmaster

 

I had to google that. It will be great fun to use at next socially distanced dinner with friends.

 

So true, so true.

Er

So I've heard.

 

Why did the Welsh farmer become a Muslim?
.
.
.
Because he heard it was His Lamb......

 

A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van (you know, shag

carpets, big double mattress in the back ... all that) when suddenly the

girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip

me!"

The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not

have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window,

snaps the aerial off the van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both

collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping

session are starting to fester very badly so she goes to the doctor. The doctor

takes one look at the wounds and asks,

"Did you get these marks having sex?"

The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in

all my years of doctoring...........

You've got the worst case of VAN AERIAL DISEASE that I've ever seen."

 

Haha!

 

I love the story behind this scene. Ford had eaten something that, shall we say, disagreed with his intestinal track. When it came time to film this he was in no mood and made a suggestion to Spielberg.

 

Yuck!

 

I think I see your mistake. You didn't use kosher dogs.

 

Sallyally is jealous of Red Lily's dick collection (with the fake caption for cover).